Has anyone else, perhaps after a not great relationship for a while, just fallen out of love with their partner?

[Abracad]

DH have been largely not great for a while, his terrible moods, pressure, both feeling let down by the other. It’s been pretty miserable. On the rare occasions that it’s good, it’s been lovely. Out of the blue, a couple of weeks ago we had four really brilliant days. I felt SO happy and grateful. But then it all went wrong on the next day, with him absolutely freaking out at me. And I just feel so gutted. Like the rug has been pulled from under me one too many times. Like I can’t go on having my happiness depend on his whim and his mood. I have felt ground down for a long time but suddenly I just don’t feel any love for him at all. It’s all gone. I feel flat and number and like it’s just too late. and I don’t want to go to couples therapy. I just want it to be over.

Has anyone else felt this?

*numb

Yes. We’ve subsequently split. Its bloody hard, but its the right thing. Im sorry you are in a similar space. I think once you get that checked out feeling theres not a lot you can do, esp when you have tried to work at the things that are wrong and they don't put in the same effort.

I'm so sorry you're going through this @Abracad. Yes, this has happened to me with my EXH, I felt completely numb for about 6 months before I was brave enough to confront what I was feeling and start the process of ending the relationship. People do fall out of love, so please don't beat yourself up if that is what is happening for you. I would get some counselling if I were you, but on your own rather than as a couple to process what you are feeling and what is going on in your head; I found it really helpful after months of switching my feelings off.

Thank you for replying. I’m glad it’s not just me. Counselling is a good idea (but SO expensive)...

Its definitely not just you. Yes, counselling can be horribly expensive, but persevere if you can- even just a few sessions would be beneficial. Some counsellors do Skype/Zoom online sessions and have a pay what you can afford model. Good luck @Abracad, hang on in there.