'Get my ducks in a row'- what does that even mean

[DesparadoNewlywed]

As name suggests... newlywed (2020) with a newborn (a few months old). Looks like I bit off more than I can chew with this one guys but I'm happy to admit failure - I'm ready to give up.Contemplating walking away for the sake of my health (mental, sexual, emotional, financial - basically everything 'al). Truly heartbroken but preferring to think with my head rather than my heart so going to soldier on!

Accomodation - We each have a property from before being married, we are both currently living in mine since lockdown - surely this would be non contested as I'm happy to keep what's mine as mine and don't care for his and he hates my property so doubt he would want to go after it.

CM - Based on HMRC calculations looks like i would get over 500 for child maintenance. Is this supposed to be for childcare costs i.e. childminder or nursery? How about other costs required for raising the child i.e. food, clothing, shelter etc. Because living in London means that amount will barely cover half the childcare let alone the other costs involved. Either way looks like I'll have to get off my maternity leave earlier than anticipated regardless - if I choose to make this leap now. Or I could wait until later when the dust settles and I'm in a better financial position I.e. when I'm fully back at work.

Evidence - I have taken some pictures as evidence of what would constitute 'unreasonable behaviour' and will continue to do so.

Anything else to be aware of?
Plus how long does the divorce process take so I can start my countdown to freedom.
Do the free lawyer consultations actually help/ provide any useful advice or is it just generic information providing a sample of the services on offer.

Head's all over the place trying to take it slowly, one step at a time.

Thanks for taking the time to read this !

I really feel for you and your horrible situation, I have been through similar but lacked the courage to walk away. It has totally ruined my life and has had knock-on effects that will follow me until the day I die. I have lost the love of family members and less importantly, an awful lot of money because of the controlling parasite I married. He, too "played dumb" and acted as if I he didn't know what I meant when I questioned his coercive control. I didn't have your strength and turned my misery and anger on myself.

Sorry, I don't mean to make this all about me, trust your instincts and get him out as soon as you can. Don't allow him to blackmail you emotionally or bully you in any way. Try and use your current feeling of numbness, which sounds like it is a self-protection mechanism, to emotionally detach from the situation (as much as possible) and focus on action.

You sound like a strong and positive person, you can do this and I really hope that in a few months' time you will be able to look back and think "I am so glad I got out."

Good luck and please keep posting for support.

Please call WA/rights of women.

Does he leave the house at all? If he does, then change the locks and call the police.

I divorced my husband on grounds of unreasonable behaviour and i had no physical evidence.

I listed 5 things which were unreasonable, gave an example and a rough date and how it made me feel.

It doesnt matter if someone else would accept that behaviour, its how it makes you feel.

Divorce on grounds of unreasonable behaviour can be any time as long as its 1 year since marriage but you should seperate now as if you stay together after the last incidemce of unreasonable behaviour it cant be unreasonable.

Alghough by the sound of him he is unreasonable every day so you dont need to worry.

If you've got any more questions about divorce let me know