Can someone explain to me why i get so pissed off when Dh suddenly decides that he is going to the gym.

[barefeete]

Sounds so petty but 3 times a week Dh will suddenly decide that he needs to go to the gym which takes about 2 hours. He doesn't plan it in and so kind of just announces it. He is quite good at doing it during nap times but that just leaves me doing my normal daily stuff day in day out whilst he gets to lead a VERY different life to me. He never stays in the house during the main lunchtime nap time and always frigging buggers off.

For some reason this just annoys me alot. Not sure if it is because he just decides suddenly regardless of what i am doing or that i am jealous that he can do that and i never have the opportunity to do anything different. My life is such a routine dictated to by naps, meal times , bottle feed times etc etc.

Anyone else feel like this or have done and how do i get over it and gain a sense of proportion. FFS he's only going to the gym for an hour - it's not that bad - but honestly to me it feels REALLY annoying.

it did sound like he was going to gym three times a week at lunchtime which sounds like he works at home?

if it is at the weekend you just need to say in the morning that you are going out at lunchtime - go to shops/gym/walk/coffee shop or whatever you fancy - tell him obviously and if says 'i want to go to gym' then say 'ok you go tomorrow'

we had those conversations and it took us a year or so to work out what seemed 'fair' to us

i feel guilty now for beeing such a winger. maybe i am just having a shit day and am taking it out on this.

sorry i should have been more clear. 3 times a week twice at weekends and then once in the week.

it shouldn't really bother me. i mean he works hard and this is his only time to do it. i don't even want to go to the gym.

I think ladymuck is right this is about how i feel and not really what he is doing.

PND doesn't help as it kind of blows stuff out of proportion.

clearer even!

I think Ladymuck has hit the nail on the head - that certainly explains how I used to feel. But don't feel bad about having a whinge, if you can't whinge on MN, where can you do it?

you prob tired too so you need to do nice things too! go out and do lovely things - he can stay at home for an hour tomorrow and babysit

i have to go now but thanks everyone and will def come back later to check back. i really really really appreciate all the posts. Thanks also bluestocking for aloowing the winge i feel a bit better after that.

i think partly the problem is that he assumes you'll be there to look after the dc's so he doesn't have to. he's taking advantage in a kind of obtuse way.

i agree with tribpot - i think you need to nip out the house next time, even if it's just to go for a walk, just so that you have the option to be footloose and fancy free too. and keep it up, even if it's just for half an hour.