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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did I over react

6 replies

par05 · 19/07/2020 03:07

Hi so backstory is, my nephew lost his gold chain a month ago he is 10, he is not sure where he lost it, but he had had a sleepover at mine.
My sil when she noticed it was missing msgd me to ask if I had seen it at mine as dn had lost it, I told her no haven't seen it anywhere.
She came over that same morning and had a look I was at work, children at home, she didn't find it.
For a few days she went a bit funny with me didn't really take much notice as she is very temperamental, then she came over and asked about necklace again, said someone must have taken it off as it couldn't just fall off , my ds said he found a half chain on the floor ages ago and we chucked it, ds wears chains too but not gold!
Anyway I helped my sil properly search my house no sign of dn chain. She repeatedly kept asking me for few weeks after if I had found it. I hadn't and would remind her she has searched my house.
Fast forward to yesterday my niece who is 7 mentioned to my other ds that my niece and nephew and my sil all think my younger son has stolen it!
My sil came over today and I told her we have not take dn chain, she completely denied having said anything of the kind and argument ensued, i know she initially thought we had taken the chain, as my brother mentioned to me that she did and that he had told her how she could even think that! she asked my niece why did she say that and my niece was crying loads with her hands over her ears.
Did I over react? We did shout at each other as my sil has form for taking offence at very little, she said she will never speak to me again , I told her to leave my house.
She has been subtleing accusing me/ds for last few weeks, my dn is known for losing things all the time.
Sorry for long post, but I can't sleep with it going over in my head.
I had to say something right?

OP posts:
Topseyt · 19/07/2020 03:11

If she can't respect you in your own home then I would be telling her not to bother ever coming back.

par05 · 19/07/2020 03:13

She can be very toxic at times, which I put up with so that I can see my niece and nephew, but accusing my son is another thing!

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 19/07/2020 03:36

Who in their right minds puts a gold chain on a child?

I'm sorry, OP, that you had to go through this. If the chain was so precious, she should have kept it locked up.

Topseyt · 19/07/2020 03:48

Stop putting up with it from now on. If she can't stop disrespecting you in your own home then she is no longer welcome there.

Your brother can come over with the children without her.

I agree with @Coyoacan. If the chain was that precious then it shouldn't have been put on the child.

par05 · 19/07/2020 08:34

Thank you for replies, that is exactly what we said dn is 10 and is prone to losing things, so why wear a gold necklace??
He had been out for long country walks with my brother and I did suggest maybe he had lost it then?
But sil was adamant that no it can not fall off, we checked the boys room at the time, turned everything upside down, as well as all of my living room and garden as that's where dn had been.
What got me the most was niece crying and sil telling her off and calling her a liar!
She is 7 and wouldn't have come up with something like that unless heard!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 19/07/2020 10:51

Well, your SIL sounds rather unhinged. She is putting too much responsibility onto children who are too young and just want to be children.

I still say encourage your brother to bring the children over to your house without her.

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