Sorry this is a bit long.
This will in all likelihood sound like a strange problem but it is hard to live with at times. Overall, happily together for almost 20 years but DH is so tough on himself and us in terms of work, the house and cleaning. I am sure people would say stuff like count your blessings that your DH works so hard/cleans a lot etc/ has high standards etc...but I think it is too much. How could I help him to cut back?
He is at work all day and into the evening in the week, spends time with us at the weekend but recently has spent a lot of time moaning at the kids about the state of the house, walking round mumbling that he's had enough, he works so hard and everything is getting ruined, that he's had it up to here, that noone cares about the house except for him etc...etc... I get it, that it is hard to see a mess but the DC are 8 and 6 and I expect to clear up at end of day but I don't expect them to be super tidy all the time. I spend around 45 mins to an hour each day cleaning/ tidying at the moment (as well as working p/t and being primary carer in the week for DC) and it never seems enough for him to be able to relax. I have started to find myself getting a bit obsessed with cleaning/tidying myself and feeling agitated if things aren't 'perfect,'. I imagine his complaints in my head while looking at the mess, if that makes sense which I think is a bad sign.
I have talked to him about it and said how much it's affecting to hear him moan and he has said he will try to change. Don't want this to get too long but could do with some hive wisdom here. I don't want him to feel agitated and cross but equally I don't want to live in a museum and feel bad if we don't. I think he could have a form of compulsion/ OCD as it goes with his attention to detail, work ethic etc...
Thanks so much for reading if you have got this far. 