Earn his good behaviour

[LostLolipops123]

My husband has been off with me all day and quite rude. It was his birthday yesterday, and my daughter awoke at midnight which stop us having some birthday fun. I think he’s sulking about it, but blaming me.

I have just asked him why he is being so horrible today, and he’s told me Good behaviour from him has to be earnt. He then said he can’t stand to be in the same room as me, and has gone for a shower. I told him he sounded very controlling, the windows are open and he told me to shhh because people might hear.

How does this read to other people? I think I’m shocked

OP, he sounds nasty, abusive and threatening to your children.

Please look at protecting yourself and your children.

What a nasty piece of work.

Kids outside playing and one of them slipped over. His reaction was so over the top and he became really threatening to my eldest. Standing over her, so I had to get in front of her asking what the hell did he think he was doing, and he walked off.

I don't know if he's their dad or not but to be honest it doesn't really matter.

Don't stand by and watch your kids be scared in their own home.

You asked him what he was doing and he walked off.

If you hadn't come out and seen it and challenged him, he would have continued to scare her and it could have escalated to more aggression or god forbid worse.

Do you really want to be with a man capable of towering over a child and being "really threatening" to them?

Leave him. He sounds awful and your children are suffering as well as you.

Is he their dad? It doesn't make anything better Im just trying to understand if it would be easy to stop contact when you end it.

He is their father.

I’ve tried to engage him in a conversation. Trying to get him to admit his behaviour is wrong. He kept deflecting onto me, saying I’m waiting for you to say your flaws. Which I already had earlier in the conversation. I admitted I shouldn’t retaliate to things he says. I asked him to reciprocate, and he then accused me of shouting when I was talking normally. Kept saying I was shouting and he wasn’t going to talk to me. I promise you I was talking at a normal calm level. He then walked off and said we will talk later.

So conversation is pretty pointless 🤷🏼‍♀️

@LostLolipops123

He is their father.

I’ve tried to engage him in a conversation. Trying to get him to admit his behaviour is wrong. He kept deflecting onto me, saying I’m waiting for you to say your flaws. Which I already had earlier in the conversation. I admitted I shouldn’t retaliate to things he says. I asked him to reciprocate, and he then accused me of shouting when I was talking normally. Kept saying I was shouting and he wasn’t going to talk to me. I promise you I was talking at a normal calm level. He then walked off and said we will talk later.

So conversation is pretty pointless 🤷🏼‍♀️

You cannot expect your children to live in such a tense, toxic environment and come out emotionally unscathed. You are both showing them that this is what a relationship looks like. That this is what an adult man looks like - someone who towers over children and scares them. It doesn't sound like you are willing to think about ending the relationship and I can't understand why as you are both unhappy and it's affecting your kids too.

Noticed she is a girl too, so she is learning that it's an acceptable way for a man to treat a girl or young woman. Setting her up for so many issues in the future, it's unfair.

I never said I wanted to stay. Do you think I’m going to put up with this?
I start a new job in September, I’ll have enough money for a place for me and the kids. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve had years of this, I’m exhausted. I want to enjoy life, he wants to be miserable all the time.

I never said I wanted to stay. Do you think I’m going to put up with this?
I start a new job in September, I’ll have enough money for a place for me and the kids. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve had years of this, I’m exhausted. I want to enjoy life, he wants to be miserable all the time.

Go hard OP. Does he know your plan?

Hell no! And I’ll keep it that way too

I never said I wanted to stay. Do you think I’m going to put up with this? I start a new job in September, I’ll have enough money for a place for me and the kids. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve had years of this, I’m exhausted. I want to enjoy life, he wants to be miserable all the time.

Apologies OP, I didn't get that from your posts so I must have misunderstood.

That's great and will help your kids and you be so much happier and be able to actually relax and enjoy each other

I never said I wanted to stay. Do you think I’m going to put up with this? I start a new job in September, I’ll have enough money for a place for me and the kids. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve had years of this, I’m exhausted. I want to enjoy life, he wants to be miserable all the time.

Apologies OP, I didn't get that from your posts so I must have misunderstood.

That's great and will help your kids and you be so much happier and be able to actually relax and enjoy each other

So you said you went to bed on better terms yet he woke in a horrible mood. Is it possible he was expecting sex last night since you were as you say on better terms, and since sex didn’t happen he is having a good old sulk about it?

Either way it’s no excuse and I agree that you should leave because you and your children deserve so much better.