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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you think he will become abusive?

29 replies

ValiMyers · 18/07/2020 15:29

Well I've been with my boyfriend for about a year..the other day we were in bed and I turned around and accidentally elbowed him in the nose. He immediately clipped me round the ear...wasn't especially hard but even so.
He has smashed my phone once too on purpose , I can't remember the reason now. And tried to trip me over after an argument as I went to leave.
Do you think this is worrying? He said he'd never hit a woman but I just don't like some of his behaviour.

OP posts:
PracticalMagic111 · 18/07/2020 19:29

I really fee for you OP.
I denied abuse from my first relationship, mostly because I didn't know what to expect or what was right.
I was with him for about a year, the most awful time of my life looking back but at the time I was mesmerised.
It started off as similar to what you have mentioned. Then it would be if we went out to a pub/club he would insist on taking my debit card to buy drinks. Without me knowing he had purchased a £150 bottle of champagne and kept topping up over girls drinks and saying "it was on him" even though it was my money. I later found out he had been using my card details continuously almost causing me to go in debt.
This then led to him forcing sex on me. And locking me in a room while he was at work so I couldn't leave.
He then told me that I should stay with him because no one else would want me. So of course, niavly, I stayed.
He consistently cheated on me, but always seemed to shift the blame on me.
But the worst was that he held a knife to my neck one night saying none knew I was at his house and if he killed me no one would know or care. I was scared, but he laughed it off saying I should lighten up.
Even then, I did not leave. Eventually he ended it, I was devastated but looking back I had such a lucky escape.
The point is, I never noticed this abuse until years after, it still affects me now.
Please take care of yourself and take note of anything else that seems off. It's not worth staying in a relationship where you feel on edge.

lilmishap · 18/07/2020 19:34

OP would you ever smash somebody else's phone? Why not?

He is abusive.

MissClarke86 · 18/07/2020 19:37

This is not a normal relationship lovely - get out now.

Ellie56 · 18/07/2020 20:10

He is already abusive and will get worse.

Dump him now.

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