Help

[CosSam1]

Long time lurker first time poster... I think I’m in an abusive relationship and just wanted some opinions on steps I can take to help my self.

My partner of 9 years often tells me I’m fat and ugly, wishes I was dead, calls me lazy, says he hates me, will call me all the names under the sun & pretends to strangle me knowing I hate my throat being touched.

Whenever I ask him to stop doing these things he always replies “I’m just joking” or “cheer up you miserable bitch”. Would you consider this abusive behaviour?

Of course its abusive

Why would you want to be worh someone who wishes you were dead? Even as a joke?

Yes, all of those things alone are abusive. All together they are very worrying.

When you say he "pretends" to strangle you - does he touch you or does he just make a gesture with his hands? Applying pressure to the throat is a strong indicator of increased risk of domestic abuse with serious injury or even death.

He touches me enough so I can feel it but not with any great force.

Do you have dc. Do you rent or own your property. It is best to leave. If he knows you don't like having your throat touched he should stop.

Yes it is abuse. The slagging you off etc is emotional and verb

Strangling you without killing you is still intimidation, showing you what he could do etc, especially combined with the 'wish you were dead' comment.

You are in danger/potential danger.

Please make a plan to separate from him.

You 'think' you're in an abusive relationship?
This is definitely an abusive relationship.

Do you have any children and Do you have anywhere to go if you leave?

These things do not happen in a normal relationship.