Wedding advise

[chloleigh99]

Hi all,

I'm new to this so sorry if it's not relevant to the page.

I've been with my partner almost 4 years and we have been engaged for 2. We are due to get married in August and due to the pandemic we can only have 4 guests, so it only sounds fair to have two each.

My partner has picked his two people but I'm struggling with mine. I would love to have my mum and dad there but they spilt years ago and they don't see eye to eye and my mum has made it perfectly clear that she's not comfortable being in the same room as my dad. And I don't have much involvement with neither parent to be honest, I speak to them maybe three times a month if I'm luck as they don't really return my calls.

However, I'm very close to my Nanna and her husband and I really would like them there as my Nanna has helped fund the wedding by buying me the most beautiful dress. And my parents have not contributed what so ever. Which is fine but I feel my Nanna should be also there to see it as she has contributed.

My initial decision was to tell my parents that I cannot choose between them and due to this neither of them are coming and for our 1 year anniversary we will renew our vows so they can be there. But I feel awful! I feel like my parents should be there as they're my parents but I want my Nanna there too. I'm so stuck! I feel like I would be a bad daughter for not choosing between the two and neither of them coming.

Can someone please give me some advise?

Thank you

Ask your Nanna and her husband.

Explain to your parents that you are restricted to two guests for the ceremony and that you have chosen Nanna and her husband. Do it over the phone.

I would honor your dgm. If your dps can't 'behave' themselves for your special day they don't deserve an invite imo.

You are doing the right thing with your Nanna.

Hi, I got married in January and by our own choice we only had ten guests. This meant telling our closest friends they couldn't attend and having to explain to my dad that he could come but wasn't allowed to bring his partner even though they've been together several years. It was nerve wracking having those conversations but surprisingly everyone was supportive of who we choose to invite.
It's important to remember that your wedding is a celebration of your relationship with your partner, not everyone else so don't compromise and have people there if they aren't your preferred choice. You're the one who'll have these memories and hopefully photos for years to come so don't feel bad about who you choose to attend.

Thank you all so much!

I'm just worried that they won't see it from my perspective and the won't realise how much of a hard decision it has been to make. x

Would it be best to do over the phone, by text or in person?

I'm such a worrier sometimes 😬

Ask your nana. Mine walked me down the isle as she was pivotal to my upbringing

In person.

Another vote for your nanna and her husband. Good luck with it all

If it helps your Nanna and her husband won't be around for as long as your parents (i.e. you could remind them of this if they don't play nice).

I have every sympathy as I was in a similar position (parents not trusted to behave) which affected all sorts of social events over the years.

Name change fail, I think, OP

Sounds like the right decision to choose your nana and her DH