Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

16 days after giving birth

24 replies

Jasxxx · 16/07/2020 13:01

Hello ladies. Probably a bit TMI but I had my little boy 16 days ago and my partner and me are wanting to have sex. I had stitches would it be safe to resume having sex this early on after birth?

OP posts:
MizMoonshine · 16/07/2020 13:05

As long as you're not bleeding or in pain.

Alderaan · 16/07/2020 13:10

So long as you feel ready. It was a similar period after having DS that DH and I resumed activities.

Jasxxx · 16/07/2020 13:31

I'm not in any pain. My bleeding is just like a really really light period

OP posts:
MizMoonshine · 16/07/2020 13:37

Your cervix is still open if you're still bleeding which means that you're more vulnerable to infection. So take precautions. Use a condom. Make sure his hands are good and clean.
Or hold off until you're not bleeding.

sunflowersandtulips50 · 16/07/2020 13:47

The advice if you have had stitches is to wait four weeks and until bleeding stops. Your putting yourself at risk of infection and I am assuming you have contraception sorted ?

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 16/07/2020 13:48

You both it just him?

LouHotel · 16/07/2020 13:50

Wait until the bleeding has stopped and if your not on contraception use a condom as your super fertile.

Personally along as the above is sorted just ask your partner to go at your pace and stop if you feel uncomfortable dont keep going through pain because you want to get the first time over with.

BakedBeeeen · 16/07/2020 13:57

Oh wow - I really wouldn’t.

Wyntersdiary · 16/07/2020 14:12

Hmmm well i had sex 2 weeks after birth. I found out i was pregnant 5 weeks later. XD haha i now have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. Yay.

But it was a little uncomfortable but not terrible but i didnt have stitches, to be honest i would wait another week or 2 , at least until you have stopped bleeding

Dery · 16/07/2020 14:23

Hmmm - personally, I would wait a few more weeks until you've stopped bleeding. Apparently, most health professionals recommend waiting 4-6 weeks although there's no fixed period for waiting: www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/sex-after-pregnancy/art-20045669#:~:text=While%20there's%20no%20required%20waiting,first%20two%20weeks%20after%20delivery.

Waiting gives your body that bit longer to heal from the rigours of childbirth.

It's great that you're both keen (it was c. 3 mths before I felt ready so I may be projecting somewhat!) but it shouldn't be at the cost of you ending up with an infection, unnecessary soreness or indeed another pregnancy (unless that's what you want). In your shoes, I would just focus on the other ways in which you can enjoy each other for a few weeks more.

StoneColdBitch · 16/07/2020 17:56

The NHS advice is very clear that you can resume sex whenever you and your partner feel ready:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/sex-contraception-after-birth/

You may wish to start with a finger first and work up to a penis.

The FSRH, and others, consider that you don't need emergency contraception if you have unprotected sex in the first 21 days after birth. However, personally I would use contraception anyway, not least as I'm a natural worrier! You definitely need contraception in place from day 21 after birth. Your GP or local family planning clinic can help.

Ilovechoccake · 18/07/2020 03:58

When I had my first I had stitches and we had sex around 2 weeks after birth, with my second no stitches/grazing so 3 days (I know!) and with my last baby we we waited around 2-3 weeks x

Ilovechoccake · 18/07/2020 03:59

May I add that I don’t bleed for very long, stopped bleeding after a week with my last two and it was very very light!

Sugartitties · 18/07/2020 12:14

i had sex two weeks after my first and had another baby ten months later Grin

Dullardmullard · 18/07/2020 14:20

Fuck me no way would my husband get near me after 16 days I’d be to knackered for that shit

This isn’t the cool club gals only do when ready not when he says.

If vaginal births your vag is swollen and bloody tender down there.if section think if the wound and leaning on it now that bloody painful.

If stitches ouch if he’s inserting a penis in there hence waiting 6 weeks to heal.

Dullardmullard · 18/07/2020 14:22

@StoneColdBitch

The NHS advice is very clear that you can resume sex whenever you and your partner feel ready:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/sex-contraception-after-birth/

You may wish to start with a finger first and work up to a penis.

The FSRH, and others, consider that you don't need emergency contraception if you have unprotected sex in the first 21 days after birth. However, personally I would use contraception anyway, not least as I'm a natural worrier! You definitely need contraception in place from day 21 after birth. Your GP or local family planning clinic can help.

The no need for emergency contraceptive within 21 days by the FSRH is frighten as folks do get pregnant as pps have stated
RantyAnty · 18/07/2020 14:28

Do you feel like it or is he pressuring you?

NHS advice was probably written by a man.

SnuggyBuggy · 18/07/2020 14:31

Can you really be bothered?

StoneColdBitch · 18/07/2020 15:20

@Dullardmullard I can't entirely understand your post because of the typo, but that is the FSRH advice - here is a link:

www.fsrh.org/standards-and-guidance/documents/ceu-clinical-guidance-emergency-contraception-march-2017/

I note the comments from others about not wanting sex so soon after birth. I agree nobody should have sex they don't want, but I think it's important not to judge women who do feel ready for sex shortly after birth. Some do!

crimsonlake · 18/07/2020 15:30

If you have had stictches I would not even contemplate it, actually stitches or not I would never have contemplated it. Really what is the hurry, give yourself time to heal properly and rest as much as you can.

2847381User · 18/07/2020 15:45

You both it just him?

I was wondering that. I wouldn't, 16 days ago you gave birth and you had stitches.... I think having sex this soon is asking for an infection of some sort.

Tell him to have a wank, I'm surprised any woman would feel horny 16 days after giving birth Shock poor things been battered enough from giving birth, let it heal!

user1481840227 · 18/07/2020 16:00

I wouldn't risk it until the bleeding has stopped.
There's a possibility of infection.
I'm sure there are horror stories out there of this happening!

NotaCoolMum · 18/07/2020 17:45

I was told by my midwife if I had sex within the first month of birth that I WOULD get pregnant so def have a think!!

firstimemamma · 18/07/2020 17:53

Even if you feel fine, there will be a dinner plate sized wound inside you where the placenta was and it needs to heal. That's why they recommend 6 weeks regardless of how up to sex you feel / seem. I'd wait otherwise you risk infection.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread