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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Elderly in laws, camping, COVID

36 replies

Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 16:29

We are visiting elderly in-laws (overnight stay) with our two children. In laws went camping last week (unknown to me). They said the campsite was busy, facilities were cleaned regularly. Campsite is in the north of England. Personally, I would not go to a busy campsite at this time - and I’m now wondering if I should not see my mum (elderly) until I’m sure they/my family haven’t been exposed to anything. I went on a walk yesterday and in laws are not great at socially distancing - were talking to people on the walk and getting too close (I could see people backing off).

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 15/07/2020 18:00

Sorry but how elderly and camping in the north? In tents?

Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 18:09

They are mid 70’s, in a camper van but using shared campsite facilities. At a site not too far away from Blackburn. I was unaware when we visited that they had been away camping.

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iVampire · 15/07/2020 18:09

When were you thinking of seeing your DMum, and what sort of circs?
And what is her view of the risk?

(If you’ve not discussed it with her, I suggest you get on and do that as a first step)

Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 18:12

I’ve decided not to visit elderly DM (also mid 70’s) and she agreed. I’m annoyed that we weren’t told before meeting up. DP knew they had been away, but didn’t tell me. He didn’t realise his Dad was not great at social distancing.

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Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 18:15

I had a thread on here a while ago about DP letting a stranger into our house. I contacted the police. I feel this is yet another example of complacency.

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katy1213 · 15/07/2020 18:22

I had a thread on here a while ago about DP letting a stranger into our house. I contacted the police. I feel this is yet another example of complacency.

I bet the police were interested to know that! That'll push up the local crime figures for sure!

Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 18:26

@katy1213 you don’t know the circumstances. There were two strangers on our doorstep, asking about ownership of our house. One of the strangers entered the house without permission and used our toilet. They then asked for our solicitors details. Police recorded it as suspicious behaviour.

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katy1213 · 15/07/2020 18:31

I'm struggling to see any connection with your in-laws' camping trip!

Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 18:36

The connection is that DP was complacent when he allowed the stranger into our house, and complacent to not inform me about potential risk of visiting his parents.

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user1573957284738 · 15/07/2020 18:37

The partner who was about to share the house deeds with a couple of randomers?

Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 18:39

Yep! Not the deeds - but he was about to go through all our personal documents...

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Lickmylegs0 · 15/07/2020 18:47

I just don’t know what’s going on. I feel like I’m the one who is always stressed, the bad person, the one who has to get things done, the one who takes the responsibility - or looks out for pitfalls and danger.

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TitianaTitsling · 15/07/2020 19:13

I wouldn't think early/mid 70s counts as elderly these days?

Maverickallthetime · 15/07/2020 19:15

@TitianaTitsling

I wouldn't think early/mid 70s counts as elderly these days?
That's exactly what I was thinking- my dad definitely doesn't consider himself elderly and neither do I!!
TitianaTitsling · 15/07/2020 19:15

Sorry Op not particularly helpful of me! Sounds like you are having a v stressful time of it all!

Embracelife · 15/07/2020 19:21

So you think parentsin law may have exposed themselves to covid while camping?

And you re staying with them sharing facilities?

So you might catch from them?

So when you home you can stay put for 14 days quarantine before you visit your dm .

Embracelife · 15/07/2020 19:22

At least camping is open air
Toilets etc would be cleaned regularly
Do they wash their hands regularly?

Dancingalong · 15/07/2020 22:31

We’re going camping this weekend, I don’t really see a big issue with it to be honest. We will all be washing our hands regularly and keeping 2 metres plus away form others.

If you feel uncomfortable about it then it’s a choice between you and your mum whether you want to go give it time after your visit.

ItsSpittingEverybodyIn · 15/07/2020 22:36

There is not really any camping anywhere near Blackburn. Was it Clitheroe?
We've been away in our camper a few times lately and the ones where facilities are open are cleaned loads. The others you have to use your own facilities and there has been hand gel everywhere!

ItsSpittingEverybodyIn · 15/07/2020 22:38

But I do understand your worry!

Lickmylegs0 · 16/07/2020 07:46

I think it’s more that my DM is vulnerable at the moment, she’s on her own - and has a health concern that’s flared up in the last week or so. In laws were not being careful about distancing, chatting to strangers, asking us to stay in house while their hairdresser visited etc. DP didn’t tell me about their camping trip - and knew I was arranging to see her. I’ve cancelled now, and won’t see her for 14 days, but I’m upset because she’s alone and was excited to see us. Had big argument with DP last night - it almost seems that the more I insist that we are careful, the less he listens.

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Lickmylegs0 · 16/07/2020 07:52

DP was moaning because I found the guidelines on my phone, and showed him and his grandparents the rules about mobile hairdressers visiting. I insisted that we left before hairdresser came - and came across as ‘the bad person’ because “she’d only be in the kitchen”.

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yeOldeTrout · 16/07/2020 07:55

Don't think OP is asking anything.

ukgift2016 · 16/07/2020 07:58

You need to chill.

Lickmylegs0 · 16/07/2020 07:59

Well no - my original question was whether I should visit my mum. Now I’m just moaning.

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