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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Miscarriage and break up

5 replies

Popstar101 · 15/07/2020 09:17

Hey guys. So I found out I was pregnant and had a scan to see how long. 6 weeks. My partner and I were unsure as we’ve only been seeing each other for three months but we’ve been seeing each other almost every day. Eventually I had a miscarriage not even a week ago. He stayed for a day or two when I was in pain and then all of a sudden, gone. Like four texts a day type of gone. I tried to ask him what was happening and tell him I needed some support (I live alone in a new city and have no family left) and ask if he was still coming to see me on Saturday as we planned (he has instead arranged a night out with friends I’ve never heard of in a different city) he told me he was too busy and that I was “putting him off ever wanting to date me properly”

Honestly I’m at a loss. I feel asking for attention right now is not really out of the question.

Any words at all from anyone ??

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 15/07/2020 09:19

I'm sorry for your loss but he doesn't want this relationship. Rely on your real friends and let this one go.

hellsbellsmelons · 15/07/2020 10:59

So sorry for your loss OP.
This guy is an asshole.
Of course he should be there for you.
The fact he is not, tells you all you need to know about him.
Block, ignore, delete.
You do NOT need all this on top of everything else.
Did you move for your job?

Popstar101 · 15/07/2020 15:37

@hellsbellsmelons

So sorry for your loss OP. This guy is an asshole. Of course he should be there for you. The fact he is not, tells you all you need to know about him. Block, ignore, delete. You do NOT need all this on top of everything else. Did you move for your job?
Thank you for your condolences. And Yes, I moved for my job.

Just glad I didn’t end up with a baby who had to suffer through what an awful father he would have been by the looks of things

OP posts:
Crystalspider · 15/07/2020 16:29

Sorry for your loss. He doesn't want commitment with you but is hasn't got the guts to end it and be the 'bad guy' however he is still treating you badly by just about keeping you hanging on until you've had enough and tell him to get lost.
Block him out of your life and find someone who really does want to be with you. I hope you will find a better form of contraception next time or make sure they use a condom if you not using anything, no man is going to be pleased with a surprise pregnancy.

Middersweekly · 15/07/2020 16:47

So sorry for your loss OP. He should have been more supportive. I think he’s making his feelings clear by staying away. It could be the shock of finding out you were pregnant and the loss within weeks were too much for him and he’s processing his own feelings or it could be that he feels he can now leave without guilt. Either way I hope you have some good friends/family around for support at this time.

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