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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help please. I cant stop thinking about someone I knew years ago......

5 replies

Annonymous20 · 14/07/2020 21:46

I really can't explain what these feelings are. Before I begin, I need to say I'm in a loving and happy relationship, I am going to spend the rest of my life with the man I am with.

About 5 years ago I met someone in work who I just got on with. We never flirted, it was just a friendship, I didnt even have any form of communication with this person outside of work.

I liked everything about him, his personality, his laugh, even silly things like the way he walked. I never acted on any feelings, there is no possibility he could have known about my secret feelings. He left the company and moved to a different town. I havent seen or spoken to him since.

That was about 3 years ago. But he creeps into my thoughts a lot, especially the last year or so.

I feel terrible, I feel guilty for having these thoughts, if my other half found out it would kill him. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced similar emotions/thoughts. I just want them to go away.

OP posts:
Yumblesbumbles · 14/07/2020 22:03

Well are you thinking of getting married or something? If so maybe you’re just having some last minute doubts about spending the rest of your life with this person...is he really the one?

Or it could just be lockdown boredom?!

Sometimes123 · 14/07/2020 22:33

Surely this is absolutely normal? Stop worrying. It doesn't mean that you love your partner any less. It's absolutely healthy to reflect and consider the people you have met in your past and to take a moment to enjoy the way they made you feel. All of this experience has an impact on the person you are today.

Enjoy your memories, they exist for a reason. And try not to feel guilty. Over time these memories will be replaced by others, regardless of how intense they seem.....that is my guess anyway Smile

patas · 14/07/2020 22:39

I am completely in love with a guy I used to hang out with over 20 years ago...he's perfect because I never knew him well enough for him to start annoying me!
(I have had relationships inc a marriage within the last 20 years btw)

There's a reason nothing happened for you and him, I'm curious have you never tried to Facebook or linked in find him?

j712adrian · 15/07/2020 00:09

It’s pretty normal. I think
Most us have someone like this. Mine date back to school.

Cat112344 · 15/07/2020 00:12

Honestly, thinking about someone isn’t a crime. You didn’t act on these feelings, you know you live your OH and sometimes we just need an escape. Hope your ok x

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