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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is bad right??

10 replies

dublingirl66 · 14/07/2020 16:26

So I have been gaslighted long term
For so long
Told no one would believe me
That he did nothing wrong

So - this happened
Over a year ago I woke up
We kissed and he was removing me clothes
I said - erm not really a good time due to monthly visitor !!!!
He went ahead and bed covered in blood !!!

He told me few months later that I'm disgusting
Should have cleaned the bed
Blah blah
Took pics of bed sent to me after a fight
Had him rant at me for 6 months about it

So fcking wrong of him to do this
Then tell me it's my fault?!!!!!

Reason I am posting is I buried it for so long as he said I could only talk about it then and not any time after the event !!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

OP posts:
Somethingorotherorother · 14/07/2020 16:29

Yes, this is bad. I bet if you think about it, there are lots of other examples you could give of times he's trampled on your boundaries, belittled and bullied you.

In all honesty, you need to leave.

dublingirl66 · 14/07/2020 16:30

I left the bas----

So glad I did
Now police involved etc

But it is just so so wrong that I was silenced for so long

And the pics he sent me of the blood I deleted out of shame
Wish I kept them to show police

How embarrassing though
I did say it was not a good time
Wish I shouted louder then and now

OP posts:
billy1966 · 14/07/2020 16:34

If he went ahead...are you saying he forced you?

He sounds awful.

Stay away from him and work on your boundaries.

He sounds like a horror.

Honeyroar · 14/07/2020 16:37

So he raped you?? And then tried to shame you? I’m glad you’ve gone to the police.

dublingirl66 · 14/07/2020 17:02

Fcking rape

He says no I m imagining it
Blah blah
When someone says I don't think it is a good time

Means no
Right?

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 14/07/2020 17:18

You would think so.
He did it any way and then goes on to punish YOU for months after.
WOW - he is a proper low-life scumbag.
Well done on getting rid of him.

You could talk to rape crisis for some specialist therapy if you want to. Might be a good idea to come to terms with what has happened to you.
Womens Aid can also help.
You need the Freedom Programme so you can spot red flags earlier and avoid nasty abusive men in the future.
Well done though!
I'm glad police are involved.
Hopefully they are helping you.

dublingirl66 · 14/07/2020 17:21

Thank you

Will never go near a man again for life
I have had it !!!

But I am ok most of the time just now and again I stop and think hang on !
He told me not to talk about i this ????
Well now I am
And yes it really is bad how dare he !!!

OP posts:
SoulofanAggron · 14/07/2020 17:32

That sounds like rape OP. Sad And then shaming you afterwards for it too. Shock

How horrible. So glad you're free Flowers

hellsbellsmelons · 14/07/2020 17:34

Be careful OP.
If you don't seek some proper help, it's amazing how quickly PTSD can creep up on you!
Look after yourself.
Do what you need to for yourself.

dublingirl66 · 14/07/2020 18:02

Thank you
Have a counsellor now

Was so embarrassed and afraid to talk about it

OP posts:
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