Was I right to end it?

[bellami]

Started seeing a man last year. He is the son of a family friend (we are both 24) and we became official about 4 weeks ago. For context, due to the fact our families are close he had already met my 18 month old DD.

Things had been going really really well he was kind, funny, respectful and i never had any bad feelings about him. Anyway, we had decided to become each others bubble and yesterday he was supposed to be coming over to mine for the day. I didn't hear from him on the Sunday night but yesterday morning I woke up to my door going and he had turned up to my house unannounced absolutely blind drunk! He didn't cause any problems I put him to bed but I was furious that he turned up to my house where I live alone with my daughter in such a state and when he got up I asked him to leave.

He messaged when he got home to apologise for turning up drunk but said that I was making a big deal out of nothing and said I was acting like he had cheated?!

So was I being unreasonable to end things? Feel like if he's acting like this a month in then it's really not looking good is it?

The only error you made was letting him in drunk..
Block him op before he gets nasty..

I think you know the answer to your own question or you would not have asked it.

Yes I think you were tight to end it

I know, im so annoyed i let him in. Even more annoyed that I've known him 20 years and just didn't see this behaviour coming!

He's apologising for it but seems to think that im breaking up with him for no reason and has said "what's so wrong with me wanting to see you? I was just excited to see you"

So angry.

So excited to see you he spent all Sunday night getting blind drunk so was not in a fit state to spend quality time with you?

Well done for having boundaries and getting rid.

I think you made the right decision. To me it’s not so much the turning up drunk (which is bad), it’s the fact that he has minimised his behaviour.

A while ago DH came home from the pub hammered (he hadn’t drunk that much but he’d mixed with medication). I had to put him to bed. The next morning he was mortified and very apologetic. It’s not happened again. The fact that your ex implied you’re overreacting tells you everything you need to know about him.

You did the right thing, it's not nice for your daughter to see and why would you think it's alright for him to not speak to you but turn up drunk unexpected, it won't be a one off.

I had a bf that was like this, I wouldn't be able to contact him but I'd get a late night drunken call when he got home, luckily I lived too far for him to turn up!
He carried on being like this and the more he generally got disrespectful to see how far he could push me. It takes time to find out what people are truly like.

So he went out Sunday night, all night drinking and decided not to go home in the morning but come straight from where he was drinking to you? You need to ask where he was getting drunk. He may have been in a mates house with loads of other people getting drunk which will put you and your child at risk. Thank goodness your child didn't see him as that might have frightened them. I know lockdown has eased and people are letting off steam but I applaud you for your boundaries. If this is what he is like after being together officially for 4 weeks, I dread to think what he would be like if he moved in!

The fact that your ex implied you’re overreacting tells you everything you need to know about him

^^THIS - with bells on

Thank you everyone! I knew I was right but sometimes my friends say they think I can be a bit harsh and they all were routing for us seeing as we were good friends.

Oh well, thank you, next!

Hope everyone is keeping safe and well!

my friends say they think I can be a bit harsh
You have standards and boundaries!
That is bloody brilliant.
You don't see it too often on here!