I am having hard time getting over a past 8 year long relationship. It affected me in every way possible. It ended 6 years ago (I know).
I am currently in the process of facing up to this after deciding I don’t want to feel sad anymore.
But I wondered if the lovely MNers could help me with this....
I have always blamed myself. I started to get depressed in the last couple of years of our relationship, this made me angry, insecure and all the rest of the horrible things it does. I didn’t always treat him nicely and for that part I take full responsibility. The way he used to react to this was with anger. He grew up with alcoholic abuse father so this was all he knew. There would be times I would be beside myself in pain, having panic attacks. He would shout at me, try kick the door in. Threw things at me. On one occasion he grabbed my face. But this was only occasionally when he really couldn’t cope with me. And I think that’s why I blame myself. A lot of the time he was very sweet and thoughtful.
If this was you how would you look back and view this? I am very depressed right now as I am going through all this so rarely trust my own judgement of things.
Thank you if you’ve got this far x