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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What is going on?!

3 replies

Froggles1 · 13/07/2020 22:06

Hi all,

I’ll try keep it brief but I just feel so alone at the moment.

I suffer with anxiety and it does target my relationship. I have always worried on / off whether my partner is the ‘right’ one for me.

We have always got along well; similar sense of humour/values and both caring etc. Always had a good sex life when I’m not overly anxious. We have one child who we both utterly adore.

Lately (since lockdown really) my anxiety about the relationship has returned. In his eyes, we are perfect and he is so affectionate towards me. I’m my eyes, I see us as being quite different and bickering a lot. It’s usually over silly stuff but I just get really annoyed with him sometimes. Then I get upset as I imagine me having to leave him/splitting up our family and the thought makes me heartbroken 😔
I don’t want to stay in something that’s not right for the sake of my family but I like what we have as a unit. Before lockdown, I didn’t feel like this 😔or hadn’t in a long time.
There’s nothing ‘wrong’ I just feel we’re in a slump. He honestly doesn’t think this is the case and just thinks it’s my anxiety playing up. I hope it is but I worry it’s not 😔
Can anyone offer any constructive advice?

OP posts:
category12 · 13/07/2020 22:11

How are you managing your anxiety at the moment? I think you need to focus on that. What precisely is it that makes you think the relationship is the problem?

Froggles1 · 14/07/2020 09:08

@category12 I know, you are right. The only thing that makes me think it’s the relationship is my negative thoughts around it. For example, my OH might have an opinion that I don’t agree with; then my brain will go “you don’t like that; he’s obviously not for you” but it’s constant. I check myself to see how attracted/in love I am but of course, when you try and feel something, you can’t.
Rationally, I know it’s likely my anxiety but sometimes I just get fed up & wonder whether I’m ignoring my gut. But when I type that it feels wrong too.

OP posts:
Froggles1 · 14/07/2020 09:09

@category12 sorry at the moment I am exercising and trying to use mindfulness. I’ve done CBT in the past so I have enquired about doing more of that again x

OP posts:
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