A bit personal

[cheeseburger2020]

I apologise in advance about this but I'm literally desperate for advice . I have been with my fiancé for ten years . We met mid twenties . He was early twenties . He's a very shy person so I can see how getting a girlfriend or any sexual encounters would be pretty hard for him to get all them years ago . He used to tell me in the 1st few weeks about ex's ect but I shortly found out later he lied about every single one of them . Didn't judge him tho because obviously he just didn't want to admit it . He told me he had had sex before . I believed him until we actually had sex . It was awful . It went in out in and he pulled out really quick and finished everywhere ! He was really embarrassed got up dressed and stormed out of the bedroom . He apologised and we tried again a few hours after . Last a little
Longer but prob in total about 3 mins . Now he has never last that long at all. Unless when he has drank too much and he goes on and on 😂 we have never had a session last longer than 10 mins. I don't know why but I don't think it bothered me at all but now this last year I'm cracking up. Literally he will put it in and a few seconds later constantly stops saying he's too close . He then goes again for about a minute and it's all over because he's finished . He gets pissed off with it lately. But won't see a doctor. I don't even want sex no more because it's pointless. He always asks if I enjoyed it and I say yes but he must be mad because no way could I enjoy it in literally a minute! He hasn't got a high sex drive prob once a week I have and would want it a few times a night ha ha never get it tho lol . I have asked him to go to the doctors but he gets pretty defensive and says no . Does anyone know if any medical reasons can cause this ? Thankyou

Iv know for the last few months that I do need to end things . I am definitely too scared to leave because I don't want to be left with nothing and on my own I know how stupid and shallow that sounds because if this was anyone else I'd be like what the hell just bloody leave ! I love travelling and obviously he doesn't 😌 I went for my 1st walk on the beach this weekend since lockdown started and I felt so free it made me realise how much more I wanted out of life

He is making his problem your problem, but without a care for you. It’s all about him.

Leave him and have some fun - you have plenty of time for settling down. Your future self will thank you.

He obviously knows less than nothing about sex except his own dismal experience. Maybe he thinks that's normal? As you misled him and said you're fine, it's quite possible he's under the delusion you come as fast as he does.

  First thing you have to do is explain that  you were too shy to tell  him the truth  ; it's not fine for you, it has never been fine, and  that  you want and need  far more. 

  Since he misled you about his own  sexual experience it might make him more understanding about why you've pretended for so long.

If you dont end it you will be one of the posters on here saying they are in a sexless marriage and completely miserable they always say sex wasn’t great before but now it’s non existent. Don’t settle for this crap

"If you dont end it you will be one of the posters on here saying they are in a sexless marriage and completely miserable they always say sex wasn’t great before but now it’s non existent. Don’t settle for this crap"

This. Being splendidly single would be far better than this miserable drudgery and a whole world of opportunities will open up to you.

What with his faux sexperience and your lack of transparency will this work without both of you being upfront and honest? A frank discussion is needed here.

I'm a man and a few years ago had a mental wobble, the docs put me on the anti-depressant Sertraline. One of the side effects, that I was unaware of, was to suppress ejaculation. That side effect made me even more depressed. I told the doctor of my woes and he said Sertraline was also used to treat premature ejaculation. I ditched that medication!

There are options, OP.

Leave, now. Not only does he have premature ejaculation that he is unwilling to do anything about, he doesn't even try to satisfy you in other ways with his hands or mouth. If all that wasn't bad enough he is controlling your sexuality by telling you that you are not allowed toys.

I am not surprised he's worried you would prefer a vibrator, he's so inept and selfish and any woman would choose the vibrator. You are too young for crap like this, it's not your job to fix his dire sexual performance.