Over the past couple of months, it has become clear to me that DH has been having a longstanding emotional affair. I'm trying to process this information. What is making it more difficult to process is that it appears that he's been living in two realities, almost. As an example, when I talked to him about his EA, he got all arsey and said 'I suppose you think her baby is mine do you?'. I asked him why he would think that I would think that, when we both know that he had a vasectomy shortly after the birth of our second child over 20 years ago. He said that he 'must've forgotten' (that he'd had a vasectomy) and laughed in an embarrassed way.
Also, during our talk about my concerns about this other woman, he shifted the blame on to me instead for not working for twenty years, despite the fact that I work from home, there's paperwork on my desk to 'prove' this (!) and I actually had second jobs for 6 years of the past twenty. When I pointed this out he apologised and said that he'd 'forgotten some of it'.
It's like the fantasy-reality he lives when he's been in her presence has seeped over to infect our true reality together. However, since he's not seen her during lockdown - he's been with me most of the time - he appears to have gone back to his old self (looking at holidays, and properties where 'we' might live, suggesting he's dreaming about our future together, like he's always done).
It's very strange. I'm very worried about his mental health. Could an EA have this effect? Is there any literature about this?