To ppl who left a toxic relationship- What was the final straw

[littlerayofsunshine0]

What was the final straw or moment when you realised "fuck this" or couldn't take it anymore??

What was you're next move and what's your story now that you've finally got away.

Well done @littleredtoothbrush I'm hoping to do the same. I know it's coming. I'm so unhappy and he can see it too but his behaviour remains the same. I feel claustrophobic from the lack of personal space or freedom to be me without being judged or made feel like shit about it.

Someone asked if we were married. No we are not married, I've actually been avoiding that one. But when my first child came along I did consider marrying him until he threw the words at me of "I dont want you taking ds to your parents anymore" because he doesn't trust men (he was abused as a teen). I was 5 months into my next pregnancy and told under no circumstances that my kids could go to my mums house unless my partner was with me. That's 1.5 yrs ago now and since he said that I felt a little light go out inside me. My mum & dad are the only people I've left & absolutely love my kids they are the only grandkids as well... So I definitely dont want to marry this man.

To the person who asked what age partner is hes 35 m. Got together when I was 17 he was 18

I got pregnant and realised I did not want to raise my children in the same toxic environment that I had grown up in.

My relationship was the death of a thousand cuts. Nothing dramatic happened when we split, I just simply said it's not working. The anger and rage from him that followed afterwards though.... jeez. Even to this day he makes my life hard and he doesnt live with me any more.

He was violent and sexually abused me many many times over. He was verbally and financially abusive. Emotionally abusive. You name it, he did it. Death of a thousand cuts like I said. One day I just wanted out rather than living with the dysfunction that was going on. My kids deserved better so I aimed for that.

Mine would periodically say he was leaving me and taking our daughter and would then come crawling back a few dats later. The third time I decided I couldn't take it anymore and told him he couldn't come back

I don't know, there seemed to be so many moments I knew I would leave.

Strongest memory is of being on holiday with our daughter who was a toddler. He had been a dick as usual, and after he'd stormed off I was on the roof terrace looking at the beautiful view, and vowing that my next holiday wouldn't be with him. I left him four months after that.

Being called a slut.

My ex horribly calmly threatened to smash my face in whilst we were sat at a shared table.

My crime? I had been playing rock, paper, scissors quietly with my bored 7 year old, our hands under the edge of the table cloth so not to be obvious to other diners.

He was enraged as this. I left him soon after.

Some men are truly nasty work. Definitely not all, but some.
It takes about five years to resurface. Make sure you give yourself a lot of kindness and time once you leave. You'll come back, you'll be yourself once again. It's a long way off. But every step is a step closer. Xx

I left my home when I was pregnant to get away from him, slept on a friends floor and had to live in a hostel when my baby was born.

I was completing my training, still recovering from a short hospital stay a few weeks previously, a parent to a young child, working 2-3 days a week and organising a fundraising event. My ex was unemployed. My child was being looked after that day by the in laws so I could finish preparations for the event as I was running out of time.

My ex used the last of the milk and had forgotten to replace it. It was on the list and he'd not picked it up. I'd reminded him the 2 previous days. He insisted I stop what I was doing and go shopping for the milk. I refused and he kicked off. He had no obligations that day and there was no reason he couldn't get the milk himself.

My son finding his cocaine in our house. I didn't know he took it, I'm very anti drugs.

This was the final straw after years of verbal abuse, occasional violence, Tens of thousands of pounds on porn, dishonesty about other things, secrecy, complete lack of respect.

I too was a shell of myself, I left with no job and a 2&4 yo. Couldn't see how I would ever get through it. A year on I'm living in a new town, new job, new boyfriend, 2 happy kids, a bright future. Nearly divorced and can't wait to get the fucker out of my life for good other than his minimal child contact.

Stay strong, leaving will be the best decision you ever make