Hi all, I posted a thread the other day about how I've been suffering depression/anxiety since lockdown and haven't really improved since things have eased. I finally saw my boyfriend after four months apart last weekend and whilst I enjoyed the time with him, I wasn't as overwhelmed with happiness as I thought I'd be. We've had a few tough times in the relationship in the past, but everything had been rosey until lockdown. He's done nothing wrong but I seem to have just stopped enjoying life full stop. I'm living alone at the moment (had flatmates but they moved home after lockdown) and I felt really depressed when he left as I was used to having company again. We spoke on the phone plenty during lockdown, so I wouldn't say the connection was diminished, but I do feel different and I've never felt like this before. I don't want to end the relationship but I'm worried about where this terrible gloomy feeling has come from. We're long-distance anyway but usually see each other every 2-3 weeks. If I'm on the phone with him or with him I feel fine, but since him staying with me I've been worried and questioning everything.
Has anyone else experienced this following time apart? Will trying to see each other more help?
It's worth saying that NOTHING is exciting me at the moment. If you told me I'd won the lottery I think I'd struggle to be enthusiastic. I've been jobless for three months and finally got another job. I was happy for about an hour but then back to doomsday. Equally all my favourite things... films, books, writing, days out, all fail to fill me with any kind of excitement. I feel like an empty shell. I don't know if it's just having excess time on my hands that has caused this. I'm hoping once I start my job next week the old me might start to come back. If not I think I'm going to have to seriously look into antidepressants or some kind of therapy.