Emotions around a co-worker

[lpearl3]

I'm wondering if people can give me some insight into something I do not understand. It revolves my emotions whenever I am around one of my co-worker at work,
I'm a 39 year old social worker, married and have two kids with one on the way (19 weeks with my third). I've been having a tough go, having lost my mom to COVID-19. and dealing with a strained marriage; probably due to both stress, grief and pregnancy hormones.
My workplace is great. I usually talk to my co-workers; they are wonderful and supportive and I can le my stress and frustrations out and they are very understanding and I feel comfortable talking to them while at the same time, keeping check of my emotions. However, when I am around one particular co-worker, I always "lose myself" and my emotions get the best of me and then the tears always seem to flow and the flood gate open. This afternoon we went for a walk and I did it again, I got emotional and cried around her.
I don't know what this is about but I find myself embarrassed, almost. She is 23, 16 years my junior, There are days when I ask her to come to my office just because I need the support or days when I come to her office and ask if ai can just sit for a bit,
Looking for others opinions on this. I don't understand the connection to her. It ha to be more than I simply feel safe around her, because I feel the same about my other colleagues but for some odd reason I get so emotionally vulnerable around her.

There are days when I ask her to come to my office just because I need the support or days when I come to her office and ask if ai can just sit for a bit

I am so very sorry about all of the trauma you have gone through, and my heart breaks for the loss of your mum. However, it is very inappropriate to use this young woman as your sounding board/therapist. She is a only a co-worker, and I can imagine that this dynamic is very stressful for her, especially given the fact she has no bearing on what you're going through. You need to seek professional help to guide you through your grief.

Likely to be some unconscious transference going on. She could remind you of someone significant or she just has a very caring and open demeanour (quite likely I guess if she's a fairly newly qualified social worker).

It's really inappropriate to use her like this though. She isn't your support worker. How must she be feeling? I have a more senior colleague who treats me like this sometimes - also a social worker - and it's so awkward and uncomfortable and totally unprofessional when she does it.

Think about your own professional boundaries and find a professional to talk to. Sounds like you might need to offload and there are better ways to do it than this.

Am so sorry for your loss. You must be going through all sorts at the moment.