Ex and I saw eachother for 18months. Fantastic time together but I ended it because he changed - lukewarm and started avoiding me. I was so besotted it took me ages (months) to accept his behaviour had changed. He seemed relieved when I ended it, saying that we wanted different things but that we could still be friends since we had had such a great time together and that he really cared for me.
During the course of us keeping in touch everything was more or less driven by me including calling him up to say hello when I was feeling down. Big mistake. He went OTT in telling me how wonderful his life was and how he had fallen desperately in love and was about to get married and have a baby.
In my besotted stupidity I actually apologised for calling him and told him he would be the most amazing family man and that I was really happy for him. I more or less apologised for my existence and then blocked him because I was in shock that he could be so utterly smug and thoughtless.
A week after the call I realised there had been a massive overlap and that he had met her and not had the guts to end it with me. Suddenly all the rejection made sense and I felt like such a stupid fool for having clung on.
Despite blocking, I have not really moved on and want him to know that i know he is not the fantastic guy he thinks he is. i have such a strong urge to email him and tell him how much he hurt me. I can't bear the thought I actually congratulated him on his new relationship and went along with his 'I am such a fantastic guy' narrative.
Will I get closure if I write or will it make me feel worse? Does silence say much more than words ever could? I still feel sick and stupid for being so bloody nice and reasonable when inside I was crying. Btw, this happened about a year ago.