Crush on STBEXH’s friend’s housemate!

[Pamwasdreaming]

My STBEXH has a friend, let’s call him Greg. Greg and I are also good friends. We get on well. Greg lives with a guy, let’s call him David. So STBEXH and I met Greg and David for a drink last year. We had already separated at that stage — it was clear David and I got on like a house on fire and STBEXH was jealous and got angry with me afterwards.

It’s a year later - I haven’t seen David and I’d really like to sometime. I’m not sure how and I worry I’m playing with fire. It’s so rare I meet a single guy my age who I actually get on with! He probably thinks I’m still married and I don’t know how I’d find a way to see him but I think about him a lot.

Thoughts?

Are you still living with your EX? If not, go ahead and ask your crush out.

Can you contact Greg and go from there if you don’t have David’s number?

Yes if Greg's a good friend, just ask him if he has this David's number? You could mumble something about needing to ask him a question relating to his work? ..if embarrassed. It would be handy to find out if he's single though.

He might think I'm still married well you still are if hes a stbxh
Sorry that's pedantic but he might be put off by you being so fresh from the break up with your husband. Also beware a rebound romance if you're not quite recovered from the split.

That aside, good luck.

What on Earth is STBEXH.. what's up with all the acronyms on mumsnet.

Stbexh is soon to be ex husband. Annoying to type, my auto correct keeps changing it to stench.

A YEAR later? You haven't seen him since? Yeh I would leave it!

Do you think it's a bit close to home? I mean how close are your ex, Greg and the lovely David? Do they socialise together? Might they have a bro code not to go there with a friend's ex?

Just ask greg. Anything can happen in a year. Are you still living with your husband?

I'd just ask Greg. You need to find out if David is single. It's been a year so he might be with someone now.

You might have built this up into a bit of a fantasy too. Bearing in mind you've only met him once, in the pub, a year ago.

Thanks. Greg knows H and I have split but when David met us he didn’t know we were split up. H and I are still living together but I’m moving out soon hopefully.

I won’t do anything crazy forward like asking him out — that’d cause holy war (& I’ve never asked a guy out-a bit shy). He was definitely single when I met him a year ago but yeah he could have a GF now.

H and Greg are very good friends but H doesn’t like David and picked up very quickly on the fact I have a crush on him so he’s never mentioned.

I just don’t meet single guys very often. H and I have been split for a year and I could do with some little bit of romance or action .

I know what you mean about it being close to home — maybe I’m being naive!

just do what you want!

Are you friends with Greg on SM? If so David could be a friend of his? Then you could like a post or make a comment or even friend him....

just do what you want!

Thanks Sugartitties! I want to have an opportunity to meet David again casually to figure out if there’s anything there.

I’m not on SM...

I could even have him wrong because it was a year ago & it was only one night — the three of us spent hours chatting though & the thing I liked the beat was all the laughter. H and I have never laughed like that.

OP you could just look on Facebook to see if Greg's on there. Doesn't have to be a big thing you don't have to look at it much or post. Unless you can engineer a way to see Greg and sound him out? With a smiley.. "so is David still single?"

Would it be weird to pop round to your friend Gregs house (if local) to say Hello. David might be there and By chance you're looking fabulous.

If David's not there, you could pump Greg instead (for information)

I can't think of any reason why on earth you wouldn't jump for him (assuming he's available).

Why do you give any sort of fuck about STBXH's ructions that you'll be knocking boots with someone he vaguely knows? He's soon to be ex! Out of your life! He doesn't control you any more, and you should actively avoid caring what he thinks!

Thanks for the answers.

Well, as it happens Greg invited me to the house but I'm a shy sort, so I haven't called by and I'd find it next to impossible to ask a question like 'is David still single?'

Ha! I love the idea of just happening to look amazing!!!

David probably doesn't even know I'm separated. My H has been very quiet about it. Greg knows but he's trustworthy so I doubt very much he has told David.

I'm just gagging for a bit of action to be honest. My marriage was tough and painful in many ways (not all bad obviously) and we've been living together for a year now with no social life or romantic life with anyone else. Now that I'm moving out, I really feel ready for some action! I could be wrong about this guy but it seemed to be we gelled very well, which doesn't happen to me often.

(I've tried Facebook but couldn't find anything - since I'm not on it myself, there was little I could find).

Get yourself to Greg's house now! He may have David there!

JUMP HIS BONES.

As a friend said quite rightly to me one day when I was "what if"ing and procrastinating. So I did, and it worked out very well indeed.

Greg invited me to his house well that's perfect. You can casually ask after David.. Why don't we all go for a drink, we had such a laugh last time.. at least you can see if there is that spark there.

No need to come over all formal and Ask Him Out

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Take up Greg’s invitation and you’ll probably find out whether or not David is single without having to ask any Qs.

Some won’t be interested in dating you while you still live with your ex.

Life is so short ask Greg for David’s number. Don’t waste anymore of your life sparing EXH feelings.