Not even sure where to begin here - advice needed.

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My partner and I live together. House is in my name, not financially reliant on him, no children together.

We went through a rough patch around a year ago and we split. He came begging me to be with him, made promises to me, and stuck by them for months.

Get to now.

In the last week he has had a type of alcohol that makes him nasty, when he promised me he wouldnt touch this alcohol again.

He blatantly lied to my face, not about something very important, but, when confronted, he turned it back around like it was my fault - he only lied because he suspected I had done something wrong.

He made a promise to me that he would be completely transparent about going to his exes house (no problem with him going, its needed sometimes) and he didn't tell me about it when he went.

Today he has went to a family thing and said he wouldnt be long, I was expecting him home hours ago, not a problem that he has stayed, it is a problem that he hasn't been in touch to let me know.

He has simply decided the promises he made, off his own back, are no longer important.

I'm seriously considering packing his things. I love him to bits, but his behaviour is effecting my self esteem, I'm worth more than broken promises and half truths.

Am I over reacting?

I just dont want to be a mug.

The drinking when he knows what it does to him, and has promised not to, and the lying and trying to turn it on you, would really bother me.

It seems like the trust is gone, and the relationship is more draining on you now. Honestly, given the lack of kids and financial commitments, might be worth thinking about whether it was time to call it a day. You’re lucky to be in a independent position to be able to get out easily should you wish.

In the short term, while you’re thinking things over, start to focus on yourself more. Arrange to meet friends, do some yoga / running / make time to do your hair and nails or whatever makes you feel good, and be kind to yourself!

Then don't be a mug.
I'd message him and tell him not to bother coming back tonight.
He can come back for an hour tomorrow to pack up his shit and be gone.
Job done!
You've ended it before, you can do it again.
He hasn't held up his side of you taking him back.
He made promises he hasn't kept.
It's affecting your self-esteem so it's time to end it.
Like now!

Pack his things up and get him out of your life for good.

I would also suggest you get counselling for your own self going forward to work out exactly why you have at all tolerated this till now. You are indeed worth more than his broken promises and half truths.

Counselling probably wouldnt be the worst idea.

I was in an abusive relationship, then alone for 5 years, then him. I will never be dependent on a man again.

He has kept his promises, just this last week or 2 things are slipping, and its exhausting.

Just to add to the fact, I am currently awaiting a cancer diagnoses (pretty certain) so things are about to get a lot harder for me.

Not sure if this is affecting my view, and I'm just being snappy and talking it out on him because I feel shitty.

Oh well, looks like I'm on my own again I'll message him and tell him not to come back tonight.

I know he will either come at me with a million promises again, or just act like he doesn't care and block me. Either way I'll be crushed.

You're a mug of you allow this sham of a relationship to continue, yes. You love him, but he can't even pretend to have any respect for you. He needs to leave, permanently.

I needed to read that. He has no respect, because I've allowed it to happen.

What reason would there be for it to be a necessity that he goes to his ex's place?

I am currently awaiting a cancer diagnoses (pretty certain) so things are about to get a lot harder for me.

Sorry to hear that, I know how frightening waiting for results etc can be. Please let us know when (god willing) you get the all clear. xxxxx

They have a child together and they are selling a jointly owned property. He goes to pick up the child and sometimes has to go and get things/fix things/go in to show viewings. I have no problem with him going there, he just promised to tell me when he was going over, and hasn't stuck to that.

I had a biopsy and my lymph nodes are inflamed and they said on a scale of 1-5, 1 being no cancer, 5 being definite cancer, I'm at 4 for all the markers. I'm prepared for the worst. Thanks for your thoughts