I wasn't sure whether to post this in Relationships, as I am not in one, but think it is the best place to get some opinions on this.
Brief backstory: I got divorced from 19 year marriage. 3 years after separating and not that long after divorce official, I started a relationship with a friend, whom I met up with again quite by chance. We were in a relationship just over a year. I broke it off as there were too many red flags and I felt completely smothered by him. I would describe him as a lovebomber in the relationship. Bought me expensive gifts for no reason, only went to the best places, basically he loved to flaunt money. I asked him to stop buying me stuff as I am probably the least materialistic person around, but he would insist we only shop at the best supermarket etc etc. He says he has good taste is his reasoning for this.
As we have been friends for a number of years, we have kept in touch, but only as in a general messaging a few times a week, will send a meme etc. He has made it obvious that should I change my mind then he would be happy to start the relationship up again, but I won't (I was in and EA marriage so these red flags became like flashing beacons towards the end)
So, my daughter had a milestone birthday recently. She has also been quite ill this year and has been hospitalized on numerous occasion, so things have been tough. He asked if she needed anything sending for her birthday to which I said no, she isn't in need of anything and that I was just trying to make it as special as possible as it's during lockdown, so getting her friends to send video clips and to make it as personal as possible. He said he was going to send her something anyway, and wanted to because its a special birthday and she has been through a tough time. I said ok if you want to that's fine, but it is not expected and not necessary.
The birthday passed and his package was delayed due to Covid.(he lives a few hours away) I couldn't really afford a massively expensive present so I bought her a lovely gift, but it was a thoughtful more than expensive. She loved it, and her day was really nice.
The gift arrived a week afterwards (not his fault as was sent a few days in advance of birthday) and when she opened it, I nearly fell flat on my back. It is a very expensive piece of jewellery. As in so expensive that I will need to insure it.
When he bought it he kept suggesting he send me pictures of it, asking did I want to see it in advance etc etc. Really pushy in fact, to which I just said no I don't want to know what it is and that I will see when dd opens it.
So when we realized the value of the gift (which is way more than all the gifts she received from me and her dad), she said she didn't feel she could accept it. Then she changed her mind and said that in fact she does want to keep it, as if things get difficult ever, it is something that she can sell. We only know the value of it as she Googled where it was from and found the item online.
I just messaged him to say thank you and she sent a voice note to say thank you as well, and I have now said no more to him since then.
What would you make of this? I think its completely inappropriate for various reasons.
We are no longer dating.
He knows I could never afford to buy my dd something like this, so I am wondering if he is trying to 'outgift' me if that word makes sense.
Is this a ploy to try to get me back?
Or is this some sort of message to say 'look what life you could have had"
I spoke to a relative about it, they just said Oh that is lovely, he is such a nice chap.