Marriage counselling

[Jessy2903]

Hi all.

Has anyone had marriage counselling and it has been successful?
DH and I don't exactly have any major issues, just a few little things that need improving- one major issue being a problem I have with his mum, this causes HUGE arguments!

We've booked in for counselling but I'm just not sure what to expect?!

Any advice would be welcome! Thank you xx

Several of my friends have had it and found it really helpful. I think it just gives you better ways of talking with eachother to resolve issues collaboratively rather than as an argument. Good luck! And nice one for not just putting up with it being rubbish.

It didn’t work for me personally but then my DH was emotionally abusive which was not recognised by the counsellor at all. He was a controller/dominator but this was not picked up on. I actually came away worse off. Couples counselling is usually about negotiation. I ended up negotiating away more of the little power I had left because of his powers plays in the counsellors office. She started off in the first session by saying all relationship breakdowns are 50/50 responsibility. I now know this is totally not true and it makes me angry looking back. I’m not sure if things have changed now but I think the general consensus in the counselling fraternity is that it not suitable for abusive Relationships. Our relationship became way worse after the counselling and led to him starting to be physically abusive. He kept telling me I was as much to blame as him, ‘see, even the counsellor agrees!’. It may work for you if there are no power dynamics and you both agree and commit to working together. It sounds like you just need an impartial Go between to help you negotiate how to manage some issues. If that’s all then I think it can help.

It didn’t work for us but we left it far too late and the therapists weren’t great either — one took sides and the other was snappy, impatient and talked a lot! See if you can get a recommendation as there is no shortage of dodgy ones out there.

Also congrats on doing it despite the relationship being in good order. I think that’s wise and will help ye.

Impartial go between is exactly it.

I am sorry you have not all had good experiences and thank you for the advice :)
Let's hope it works! X