Help! Stbxh leaving the country!

[BlueTide]

I’m divorcing EA ex. Mediator has asked him to attend, he hasn’t outright refused but keeps making excuses, considered by mediator as evidence of non-engagement, so I can get a certificate and take it to court. The problem I have is he is moving to Vienna in September and has told me his monthly outgoings will be 5000 euros because of it being an expensive city and he’s leasing a new car.

I don’t know when I can get a financial hearing at court, and goodness knows how long until a settlement is reached on finances in court (years?) whilst he will be in another country. He knows I can’t afford to pay the court fees for the hearings (will borrow) and will have to represent myself.

I’m really scared for myself and dc and not being able to cope, ex earns a 6 figure salary, one dc is at private school due to a specific learning need and is a year back than would be at state school.

I won’t manage, even though I work, I earn a much lower salary barely enough to cover mortgage bills and food. Is there anything I can do to get ex to agree something before he goes? I can’t afford solicitors fees have spoken to a couple for free advice, and had to scrape the fee together to pay for divorce application to be submitted.

When I tell ex this is not reasonable and fair on the dc to leave us in this kind of situation he says stupid things like me and dc can go with him to Vienna then.

Thank you!

Blimey. This seems very unfair and complicated. I think you really do need a solicitor. Can you get a loan for fees or deferred payment? Look at the website Rights for women as they provide free legal advice.

It may be worth posting this in legal to get some better advice. I doubt there is anything you can do to force the issue more quickly if he is unwilling to engage, but as I said, people on the legal forum will have a lot more knowledge than me.

I would consult a solicitor and apply for periodic payments as soon as possible and then take it from there.

I mean, maintenance pending suit, not periodic payments.

Have you spoke or looked into getting a Remo done?
My ex disappeared to America and pays a pittance compared to what maintenance our daughter was receiving in the uk.
Remo if the location is covered by it will make sure a fair maintenance is paid and it's all covered so they can not run away from their responsibilities

Thank you I’ve cross posted in legal
I’m so grateful I didn’t know about remo, the national helpline, or maintenance pending suit. I’m going to get working on these things ASAP.
Thank you so much

i thought Vienna was suppose to be one of the cheapest places to live in Europe?

Vienna is cheaper than London.

www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/compare_cities.jsp?country1=Austria&city1=Vienna&country2=United+Kingdom&city2=London

Gingerbread has legal advice page which might be helpful.

www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/legal-help-and-responsibilities/getting-legal-help/

You can also apply for child maintenance immediately. Doesn't need to go to court.

You can also ask for your legal fees to be paid by him as part of your interim maintenance.

@Dacquoise how do I do that?
Thank you

Make an application through the child maintenance service. Have a look at the government website. You can apply if you are separated, don't need to be divorced and it will be taken at source from his income. You can agree an enhanced amount in court if he is a high earner but safest to get your application in now before he moves abroad.

The Wikivorce website is a good source of free advice and information if you are intending to be a litigant in person in court. Also a direct access barrister would be able to give you a good picture of likely settlement if it goes to court.

And don't be swayed by anything your stbexh has to tell you about what you are or aren't entitled to. Block it out. Only listen to your legal counsel and advice. It may take a while but a judge won't allow him to dictate the terms.

Thank you @Dacquoise