Is this quite a definitive no second date message?

[Lnaaa]

Went on a date with someone and chatted for about 4.5 hours, he paid for food and drinks and insinuated us seeing each other again. I wasn't sure if he fancied me but the conversation flowed really well and we chatted about some quite deep issues on both sides.

Messaged after to say Id had fun and get home safe and he replied saying "Was great fun, yeah. I'm on the bus now and there's no-one else on it!! Night Lnaa x!" I haven't responded and have had nothing all day today, normally he is quite a frequent messenger. Am I correct to assume that's a pretty final message?

Why are you being so coy? If you want to see him again, ask him out!

Sometimes people don't want to get straight into immediately texting for a second date. They might even wait a day or two or three! Surely that is to be expected?

At least you text, the ball is in his court now and if he doesn't respond it's rude but at least you know.

@Lnaaa

Ha well think my gut feeling was right, I messaged saying I hoped his event this morning had all gone to plan (no question) and he has been online but not replied! Thats then haha

Good grief Op!

Give the guy a chance!

I’d have agreed with the pps saying “give the guy a chance” a few years ago.

with recent online dating trends and culture I’d definitely say the guy isn’t going to be in touch?

Whether it’s good or bad (just modern life) I think it’s so common for people (both Male and female) to be swiping on apps for the “next best thing” and multiple dating that dating etiquette has become a bit less formal

even if you’ve had a “good date with an ok person you find attractive and good company with a kiss at the end” there’s less probability that it’s actually going to progress?

Meh, I wouldn’t say we’ve turned into a society of players but I think being ghosted/dropped soon if it’s not perfect is just quite common?

There are genuine people on the apps who want to get into a monogamous relationship asap and I definitely know of relationship success stories

but I think with the apps (even if you’re objectively quite attractive) the person you’re dating often thinks there’s a “better catch” a swipe away!

On the old dating sites you had to compose emails so there was more investment in one date and maybe have 2-4 people as contacts, whereas now people feel (even if it’s not true) that they have their pick of 30 good looking matches so end up not setting up second dates with perfectly attractive people!

The trick is not to take it too seriously I think.

Good luck op

OP - you need to grow a bit of thicker skin to date online. And also not be this jumpy and insecure.
Can’t over analyse every message and one-line status/response speed’ the way you do - it’ll soon become exhausting. And you’ll appear needy.
You took a day to reply. He can take his time.
And he may be busy anyway.
So - relax.

OP, I usually give them 48 hours to respond (been dating for far too long) and then assume that they are not interested but you might be better of just messaging asking if he wants to meet again? Your last message wasn’t a question so he didn’t really have anything to respond too.

He thinks you aren't interested and he isn't going to chase you

Don't understand at all why you thought his message was a brush off? You've ignored him for a day. By now he's probably moved on, yes, but because he isn't going to chase someone who isn't interested

Has he replied yet?

He messaged and asked if I was free this weekend! Yay - sorry for being crazy

@Lnaaa

He messaged and asked if I was free this weekend! Yay - sorry for being crazy

I mean this in the nicest possible way OP, but you need to chill and stop trying to constantly interpret length of times between messages, whether he's online and not yet responded etc - I've been there, I know how hard it is but you'll drive yourself mad

Ha! OP you do need a thick skin for this. I'd be the same though. Good luck.

Yay OP! Completely normal to question things at the start. Especially when it's online dating as there are so many blokes with agendas out there.

No need to chill out just keep being you.

Tip from me, go with the flow with dating but by date 3 you will know if it's for real (dp says he knew before we met in person!)

Next time you want to meet again, don’t start I hope your meeting went well. Say monday was fun, can we do something this weekend?

Blimey OP you need to chill a bit , hope you have fun this weekend .

Only thing I would say is that if you textcecery day and talked for 4 and a half hours on a date...be careful you dobtbrun out of things to say to eachother early on. Maybe try some sort if activity date next. Cinema or something.

*text every day
*dont run

Is 4 and a half hours cutting it fine for having enough to say to each other? 😁

DH and I have been in a relationship for nearing 200,000 hours and somehow we manage to have conversations still.

OP, you do need to relax a little bit. Analysing everything said by the boy you like is okay in high school but human relationships are supposed to be enjoyed, not scrutinised to the extent that you've written an entire narrative based on a throwaway line.

Early on in dating though. If you see someone every week or less and talk every day, you run the risk of having nothing new to say to one another.

I once had two great dates with a guy in the space of a week, we talked a ton and then on date three (around day ten) we had nothing to say to one another because nothing new had happened in our life over such a short space of time. If it had been an activity date (or waited longer between dates) we would have been fine as it would have had things happen to discuss. Or if we'd kept the chat to like an hour per date or so.

Might have been that we just weren't compatable tbf but, I think dates that are a bit more short and sweet early on may be a wise move. Always leave them wanting more, as the saying goes.

I think you probably just weren't compatible. Conversation isn't limited to new things that have happened to the both of you. What of current affairs? Books? Film? Politics? Theology? Philosophy? Art? Shared interests? Dreams? Moral compasses? History? Ambitions? If you're compatible, a genuine interest in that person will give rise to thousands of hours of happy discussion and debate.

But yes to activities anyway. But not because you've nothing to say.

🤦🏾‍♀️

Why on earth are you dating in lockdown?? I can't even see my family let alone some stranger!!

People are 'allowed' to be around each other

Really? I thought we were in the midst of a pandemic...