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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I right to be annoyed at dp’s comment?

22 replies

Rainbow1808 · 09/07/2020 08:50

Admittedly, I do need to lose some weight. Back in December, I started eating healthy and joined a gym. I managed to lose 3 stone. But since, I have unfortunately put a stone back on during lock down. I am mad about it, but I’m telling myself I’m still 2 down from my starting weight and I’ve started healthy eating again. Anyway, last night, dp was scrolling down Facebook and showed me a before and after picture of a woman who had been doing juice plus and he suggested I do it. I explained that I had managed to lose 3 stone without paying a monthly subscription (apart from the gym) and that I’m just going to do what I was doing before. Long story short, he told me that I needed to stick to it this time and that I’d be a “ten out of ten” if I lost weight. I understand that this may be his way of helping me and I am grateful for him taking an interest, but I feel the ten out of ten comment was unnecessary and now I feel like pure shit. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Aerial2020 · 09/07/2020 08:53

What number does he see himself then?
Was he serious or trying it as encouragement? Either way it's a pretty crap thing to say.

TwentyViginti · 09/07/2020 08:54

Oh dear. I'd lose all respect for someone who rates women out of ten.

Rainbow1808 · 09/07/2020 08:54

@Aerial2020 He said it was a compliment. Maybe I’m being touchy but I certainly didn’t take it as a compliment

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 09/07/2020 08:55

Think he was trying to motivate you very poorly. Get back on track and it won't matter what he says. Is he an adonnis? Sometimes it's good to retort back, keeps the balance.

SoulofanAggron · 09/07/2020 10:20

Saying someone would be 'a ten out of ten if' is not a compliment.

Sunnydayshereatlast · 09/07/2020 10:23

Tell him he would be a 10 /10 with a few inches ON...
Wink

elephanthawk · 09/07/2020 10:24

Tell him he would be 10 out of 10 if he didn't talk shit.

emptyplinth · 09/07/2020 10:24

That was rude and pretty de-motivating.

Tish008 · 09/07/2020 10:30

@Sunnydayshereatlast

Tell him he would be a 10 /10 with a few inches ON... Wink
This. Unless he's Tom Elis
Cheeseandwin5 · 09/07/2020 10:30

I am sorry, but I don't see the problem with this at all.
You admit you need to lose weight , and he is agreeing with you.
Using 10/10 is a clumsy way of saying it, but if you look at the meaning rather than the words it amounts to the same as what you are saying.
If my DH got a bee in his bonnet about this I would think he was being a bit precious and probably hesitate in taking an interest at all.

PlanDeRaccordement · 09/07/2020 10:32

I wouldn’t be upset. 10/10 is unicorn rare. So I would take that as he is saying even with weight, you are still very beautiful to him.

CucumberTree · 09/07/2020 10:34

I’m overweight and my DH tells me I’m still attractive. He will help me lose weight when I ask and support me, but would never tell me I would be more attractive if I lost weight even if it’s true.

SepticTankYank · 09/07/2020 10:39

I think he is trying to be helpful and complimentary but has massively fucked it up.

Do not do juice plus. It's a con and massively unhealthy.

You are obviously doing the right things. Three stone is massive! Two stone is massive so the one you put back on doesn't matter. Keep going. Get 10/10 and then LTB. 🔥 🔥 🔥

mbosnz · 09/07/2020 11:13

And what score does this absolute pearler rate? From me it would be about 2, given that he objectifies women, and in particular me, if I were you.

LadyHonoriaDedlock · 09/07/2020 14:27

Juice Plus! Oh dear, I think that says all we need to know about his judgement.

overlooker · 09/07/2020 14:37

What business is it of his? Your weight is none of his beeswax unless you have health concerns. Is he a GP? Is he a PT? No. So what does he know? Is he a ten out of ten? What a prick.

overlooker · 09/07/2020 14:38

and if he’s happy to see you starve yourself on a crap plan like juice plus then he’s an absolute prick who deserves nothing but contempt which is what he’s showing for you.

KR1992 · 09/07/2020 18:04

I would tell him he'd be a 10/10 if he did ... xyz

thursdaychat · 09/07/2020 18:20

It sounds a bit rude. You've done so well to lose the weight.

Please don't go on fad diets (been there, done that). The only diet that works is everything in moderation and healthy eating along with exercise you enjoy.

Aerial2020 · 09/07/2020 18:48

I don't think he sounds like he's trying to be helpful. He's putting you down.

Opentooffers · 09/07/2020 19:00

You're lucky indeed if your man has maintained a perfect physique all the time you have known him - I'm doubting this is the case somehow, in which case, water off a ducks back would be my response. Maybe see how he likes his flaws highlighting Wink

GilbertMarkham · 09/07/2020 19:13

Tell him that of you're a 10/10, you'd have to do what many 10s do, find a 6 figure earning, 6 ft guy with a 6 pack.

The out if ten scale tends to be used by shallow chauvanists. I know because i used frequent a fitness forum full of them.

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