How do you deal with a husband/partner who is sometimes arrogant/pompous and talks down to you? It’s not all the time but we can be having a chat and suddenly “bam!” he’ll rip me to shreds with his words that are such a put down. It’s often out of place, unwarranted and out if keeping with the conversation topic. I’m not even sure he knows is he sounds. I then immediately withdraw and the conversation is over and I’m left reeling for the rest of the night. I’m so sick of feeling like crap because the person who is supposed to love me talks to me like that. I just don’t understand. It then ruins the evening. I’m then not going to chat nicely to him again. I’m going to do my own thing and give him one word answers. He’s not then going to get any intimacy because he’s talked to me like I’m a piece of crap so what exactly is he getting from this? I can’t raise it with him either because he either a) denies he said it b) becomes angry and accuses me of overreacting/being angry/being mean “here you go again” .... so I’ve no way of getting any of this resolved. I just wondered if anybody else has a spouse like this and what you do about it. I’ve tried saying “there’s no need to be rude” in the moment but I’m then accused of being the one to ruin the mood/eve.