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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me get out

8 replies

Namechangedforthis110 · 08/07/2020 18:23

Lurker never a poster!
I'm also dyslexic so excuse any typos please.
I've been with my DH for 20 year since we were 17 now mid 37 we have two girls 3 and 6. This year has been a really bad year for us I've been diagnosed with an illness although it's treatable I've been very tired and quite unwell. Also my DH left his very well paid job over 100k to start something new with a friend of his. I'm a SAHM for now until my youngest goes to school. We've also got some property which generates an income to allow me to stay home. My DH smokes a lot of weed probably 2 to 3 per night during lockdown and weekends and holidays before. He's also been on antidepressants from the doctor which is just suddenly stopped.
We've been fighting lots but yesterday it got particularly nasty sadly the girls we were around, he thought moved some thing I hadn't and he started to smash around in the kitchen throwing everything out of the cupboards it was actually terrifying. Some Disgusting things were said on both parts. I'm a terrible mother I'm scum and he should have married on his level rather than someone from a council house. He later text me while stoned asking me not to stop him seeing the girls my response was I asked him to leave. He wouldn't! Today he's told me my car has gone up for sale and he can because it's in his name.
I don't have access to any accounts I just have a set amount transferred to me monthly. I'm totally trapped. I don't think he's going to let me leave with the girls and he won't go. He's said he's going to destroy me. Help what can I do?

OP posts:
Lovethyselff · 08/07/2020 19:17

Hi, that sounds awful.
Is the bank account just in his name? Do you have any money? Any family you can go stay with?

Mosseywossey · 08/07/2020 19:19

Keep all messages. Record conversations. Grey wall him. Woman’s aid will help

willloman · 08/07/2020 19:20

If you are married in UK half of all assets are yours.
So half proceeds of car, house, etc. Get in touch with solicitor. Good luck and good riddance of him!

justanotherone123 · 08/07/2020 19:21

As another poster has said, women's aid will help you.

If you're married then you will get money from the divorce and also houses etc.

Make sure you and the kids are safe.

justanotherone123 · 08/07/2020 19:21

As another poster has said, women's aid will help you.

If you're married then you will get money from the divorce and also houses etc.

Make sure you and the kids are safe.

Namechangedforthis110 · 08/07/2020 19:29

I've squirreled away about 900 pounds that's it. My parents are away for the summer now I can go stay at their house but it's just round the corner from mine.
He's got money in various accounts is in both our names but I don't have access to any of them other than my own bank account. He's taking the V5C for my car and listed it for sale. He took the girls out after dinner and then insisted on hanging around while I was bathing them just to make me feel comfortable. Now the girls are in bed he's outside getting stoned.

OP posts:
Namechangedforthis110 · 08/07/2020 19:30

Thank you for replying.

Yes married since we were 25 and in the Ukraine

OP posts:
Namechangedforthis110 · 08/07/2020 19:31

Thank you for replying.

Yes married since we were 25 and in the Uk

OP posts:
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