Husband lonely

[Toughtips]

Hiya, my husband said he feels lonely with me sometimes. Apparently I don't give him much attention.

He does suffer with anxiety and we don't have loads in common. We recently lost our father in law who he was close to in that he could talk to him about everything he's interested in.

I said im always here to listen but he said it's not the same. He loves me and doesn't want to split. We separated 4year ago as he told me he didn't love me anymore etc but that is behind us.

Should I be worried? I ask him how his days been, we have a kiss and a cuddle. Sex isn't often but usually manage once a week. I'm just knackered working full time etc.

I feel bad that he feels this way. Does anyone else have this with their oh?

Are you sure it’s you?

Some people feel lonely inside. It’s not related to anything external. You mention anxiety, which makes me even more inclined to think like this.

Not 100% sure it's me no but when I asked him if it was he said sometimes.

I had an ex say this when he had been depressed or had other MH problems over certain things, including bereavements. 'If I'm in a relationship, why do I feel so alone?' It was very hurtful as I was giving him all the love and support I could.

Bereavements can make some people a real nightmare TBH and they can take it out on those around them. He was completely self-absorbed. He gradually became less like it but it took quite a while.

Hi I left my husband three years ago mainly because I felt very lonely in my marriage, we didn't do anything together, he was always working, didn't come to bed, I took the kids on holiday on my own for years, I'm single now and not lonely at all. I still love him as a friend and we get on very well. He just had no depth of feeling.

Is this a covid thing too? If he’s not going to work, hobbies, seeing his usual people then he might be very lonely and have no idea what to do about it. Can he meet with a colleague? What did he do before all this? I know my dh has had to make loads of effort to go out else he would just be stuck with me!