‘Ooh get you getting all the attention because you’re ill’
I need a transplant. Not sure when I’ll need dialysis but it’s scary and daunting and I’ve got no family other than DS (teen) who I don’t burden with this. Partner’s ‘friend’ says the above to me on my first social occasion in months - pre-lockdown. Her nose is out of joint because partner not running around after her. I even saw an email he sent her not long before that, telling her that I had to be his priority - not sure of context, it was just open on his laptop and I didn’t pry further. But I am now wondering why he’s explaining himself to her! And damn-it, I wish I’d snooped.
I didn’t say anything to him about her shitty dig at the time as I wanted to be diplomatic and not cause a scene or drama and to be honest, I thought he’d think I was overreacting - but I felt it was below the belt. Sat sober in a room full of people, trying to feel ‘normal’ and sociable, self-conscious as people keep asking me how I feel etc. Put on weight, anxious but doing my best. Pleasant enough night. I quietly sat at the edge of the room, hardly like I had a loud-hailer announcing my blood stats or karaoke belting tunes about survival!!
Of course, now the country is coming out of lockdown she’s badgering him again for a social.
And, their circle are starting to plan. Yesterday, I said I wasn’t keen to join, and calmly explained what she’d said to me - on top of the fact I’ve been shielded and don’t much fancy mixing when my kidney barely works. He said that what she’d said to me was a bit shit and he felt a bit awkward about responding to her her. But then he’s booked in a call with her today. Apparently he’s looking forward to a catch up and how the business is etc. No thought or mention of what she said. In fact, it’s almost like she’s never said it.
I think that’s at worst insensitive and at best plain fucking weird...I’d expect him to respond, and plan, but less than 24 hours after I tell him she said something pretty harsh? It was hard for me to tell him at all and it was a tough conversation to admit I felt really bad about how people now view me - like I’m no fun.
Am I being unreasonable? Am I being too sensitive? I’m pretty pissed off and feel like telling him to do one.
He has a few female friends that have behaved in similar ways towards me - saying stuff like this and I’m expected to let it slide off me. But this was suggesting I’m playing my illness to harbour my partner of four plus years’ attention. Ffs. That’s not normal for anyone to say, is it??
Name-changed. Semi-regular and this could be outing.