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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

im sure dps been lying to me

37 replies

imhiding · 27/09/2007 15:03

ok this is really hard, i dont know what to believe anymore!

dp is an assistant manager at a sports store.
early august he went away for weekend apparantly to sort out a store that was closing down so the company paid for them to stay at a hotel

well few days later i checked his email. there was one from a girl and her friend thanking him for the nice time in london.

well i got suspicious and asked dp upfront
and he got pissed off about me going through his emails and said that they were from the bike course he did the week before. i had no other evidence so dropped the matter.

today went through his phone and in his sent box, there were messages telling someone that he was free from the 10th till 20th(he was off on holidy from work)

in another text he gave the number of some guy saying that his friend couldnt wait to meet her friend and that he couldnt wait to see her sexy ass. another text said that his friend 'ray' will pick them up and hed be in the hotel.

so i went into his email again and just seen pics shes sent to him, and him and his friend that i know are in them and the date shows that they were taken on that weekend that he was meant to be at work! why is his friend there if its a work thing?

ive just called him at work and hes saying he's had enough of me going through his stuff and that hed get evidence from his area manager that he was at work!

im stuck dont know what to believe anymore!!

sorry for it being so long!

well he went, his aunt and mum were wondering why he had to go as the place was far away and were sure they could have got someone closer to go.

OP posts:
jellybelly25 · 28/09/2007 09:17

hey, i hope you are feeling ok today, did you get a chance to talk to him?

Freckle · 28/09/2007 09:20

If he says he was sent away by his employers on that weekend and he has now quit his job, there's nothing to stop you contacting his employer to ascertain whether they did send him to the other store or not. You've nothing to lose as it can't affect his job now, can it?

Baffy · 28/09/2007 09:43

You probably already know the answer though - he had holidays booked that weekend, then suddenly he was sent to another store (even though he was suppsed to be off?), then you saw an email saying thanks for a great time, he got defensive when you asked him, then you saw inappropriate texts, and finally you have seen pictures taken from that weekend.
I'm afraid the answer is there isn't it

It's just how you choose to deal with this information now. If he comes clean will you give him another chance? That's what you need to decide. If he doesn't tell the truth now, then you probably have your answer

imhiding · 28/09/2007 13:49

he still wont give me a proper explanation to why he was there with them girls and who they are. he wont leave, we slept sperately, im here in tears, he just says ive been trying to find every excuse to break us up. hes trying to laugh it off and thunks he hasnt done anything wrong!

OP posts:
imhiding · 28/09/2007 13:50

im not leaving because its my flat

OP posts:
Tottie32 · 28/09/2007 13:57

you poor poor thing....

he is trying to shift this onnto you...

when my ex had an affair it was becasue i hadnt told him i loved him the week before???? not the fact that he couldnt face me and say i am not happy...

stay strong and do what is right for you and dc's....

i have been lone parent for 2 years and although it has been hard at times the good times outway the bad by far

LoveMyGirls · 28/09/2007 14:01

Pack his stuff. I fhe hasnt even got the decency to admit he's lied and been caught out then he doesnt deserve you imo. Even if you get back together one day i think for now you need some space away from him. Is there anyone in his family you can ask to ocme ahnd collect his stuff then change the locks and txt him to say what you have done? I know you have children to consider but he should have thoguth about them and you when he was planning his weekend away etc.

Carmenere · 28/09/2007 14:03

Oh God poor you. If he wants a relationship with you he has to tell you what he was doing with those girls. But he won't because he was being unfaithful to you. And for me that would be a deal-breaker and I would be looking to start to break up with him.
Ask yourself this. So what if you make a move to break up your 'family'? You know that is not true, he has cheated on you, or if he hasn't he doesn't respect you enough to be honest. He is contributing to and imo causing the breakdown of your marraige.
He is trying to bully you into accepting that he can sleep with other women without you objecting to it. That is effectively what he is trying to do. Is that acceptable in your life?

Mung · 28/09/2007 14:35

Just thought I'd check to see how things went and it seems that its all got worse.

You need to confront him and get him talking or as Lovemygirls says, just pack his stuff for him.

Its hard if you love him, but you need to be strong for your dc who are still so little.

fawkeoff · 28/09/2007 16:26

hun im sosorry...if he wont leave then ring the police..it's your flat so legallyhe has no right to be there if you dont want him to be.If you listen to his bullshit now, he will just feed it to you for the rest of your life.you need to get rid of him because you are worth more than that,and sorry hun but how do you know that this is the first time?????

MaryBleedinPoppins · 28/09/2007 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SSSandy2 · 28/09/2007 19:56

what's happening IH? Are you ok?

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