How common is Erectile dysfunction?

[ED47]

Name changed for this but I am a long term poster...

I left a long marriage around 4 years ago (which was pretty much sex free for the last 10 years or so). I've been dating for a while and have been seeing someone for about a year. All is going well except he does have some ED issues (either inability to get an erection or finding it difficult to ejaculate). Not always but reasonably regularly. It's not something I've encountered before and I'm finding it difficult not to take it personally 😬. He is otherwise very attentive, tactile and complimentary and says he finds me attractive but I struggle to not see it as a sign that he doesn't find me sexually attractive. I appreciate this is probably more my problem than his.

He maintains that "most" men in their late 40s have issues sometimes and because I haven't had much experience with men of this age, I just wondered how common it actually is?

I think his stats are a little skewed.

Found online:
About 5 percent of men that are 40 years old have complete erectile dysfunction, and that number increases to about 15 percent of men at age 70. Mild and moderate erectile dysfunction affects approximately 10 percent of men per decade of life (i.e., 50 percent of men in their 50s, 60 percent of men in their 60s).

Ok...so on the basis he's almost 50, about half of men experience some partial ED 🤔 Have to say that statistic makes me feel a little better!

It's also a sign of some quite serious health issues so worth getting checked out by a GP

So, I've experienced 40's, 50's,60' age bracket, here's what I found. Neve had total ED, but note as men get older it takes more for them to get firm, but had mainted. Beyond 40, I have noticed that rigidity varies at different times with the same person and generally, it's most likely to be firmest of a morning - no surprise there.

He should see his GP it could be high prolactin causing low testosterone

Whatever, don't let it get to you, it's not a reflection on you at all, that's just your insecure inner voice that needs to get slapped down. I've never been with men with health issues, so maybe we not come across ED more a delay with age.

In my unfortunate experience a lot of men of all ages can suffer from ED. I never took it personally, as for me it is so unusual for younger/not particularly old men to be able to get an erection, that it was clearly their problem.

As a PP said it is worth him getting a medical check up. As the stats say, the incidence increases significantly over 50. Viagra can help, or other treatments available on the NHS.

Viagra can be bought in Boots now, if he makes sure there's no medical contraindication. It doesn't work for everyone, but worth a go.

Thanks all.

He has had a medical check up and there doesn't appear to be any underlying health issues (apart from being a bit overweight). It is very moderate and he does use viagra from time to time.

Thanks all.

He has had a medical check up and there doesn't appear to be any underlying health issues (apart from being a bit overweight). It is very moderate and he does use viagra from time to time.

I've slept with 15 people in total, all under the age of 35. One of them had ED problems. It took me a 18 months to suss out he had a porn addiction, and that was only because I saw his search history, otherwise I wouldn't have known.

The other thing could be a pump, the NHS tend to provide them if Viagra doesn't work. The medical ones don't seem to be the same thing as the pumps you can get on sex toy sites etc. Pumps don't suit everyone. Apparently Superdrug sell a proper one but it's £155. He could shop around.

I honestly don't think any of the men I knew had ED due to porn. They either had other physical health problems or psychological problems.

It’s a growing phenomenon

If you think this may become an LTR you need to think ahead, if he has ED and needs viagara now in his 40s what will it be like in his 60s?

I have no knowledge beyond my own experience but I am 61 and I have been pleasantly surprised to find that neither desire nor ability has changed much, if at all, over the years. I think ED tends to happen when a guy is stressed or depressed, it happens to all of us from time to time but it should not be a regular thing for a healthy guy in his forties.

@jackdaw141

It’s a growing phenomenon

Apparently not (light-hearted)

OP please don't take it personally. Whilst ED can be frustrating, awkward and upsetting for both parties, even if there is no medical reason, it can still just happen.

Remember there are many, many ways to please each other sexually

Worth remembering everybody's different to some extent. His life experiences may also have an effect with performance anxiety. My ex wife cheated and going forward in to new relationships it definitely affected how one performs. You develop the Pink Poodle Pat Butcher phenomenon to prevent the money shot to help you last longer. In the end you just can't release. There's a lot of preconceived pressure on a man especially going in to new encounters. Will I last long enough, is my penis big enough, is she comparing me to her last bloke. The list of criteria becomes endless so much so its no wonder that Dick Tracey is in limp mode. Probably easier to just read a book or go fishing

Thanks for all the responses. The PInk Poodle Pat Butcher more made me giggle