Silent moments -First date - should I continue?!

[IvyMayaZ]

So I’ve been texting with a man for 3 months . We really match amazing sexually and having same life dreams. We were texting all days all nights. I finally met him and I really wanna try to give it a chance, but we have quiet few silent moments And not sure it’s a good sign ?! What do you think ? Can the conversation pick up later?!

How do you know you match sexually?

How do you know you match sexually?

This. How do you know?

We are both into BDSM. Been both going bondage events last 10 years. It’s difficult find someone with the same interest in that

Do you think you were both hit with nerves? My DP said he always felt the second date was the real test... you've done all the easy get to know you questions on the first. He felt that if you could keep conversation going and have s spark on the second that was the real deal.

Take your time. You can take things slowly and see how things go. If it doesn't work out then end it and move on with your lives.

A first date is tough, especially when you frankly probably haven’t had much human interaction for a few months. I wouldn’t discount someone who I thought was otherwise great just because the conversation didn’t always flow the first time we met. There’s no harm in having a second or third date and then deciding how you feel.

Being into the same things in bed doesn't necessarily mean that you'll actually have sexual chemistry with each other!

Talking for so long beforehand can create false intimacy and you might have both felt pressure and stressed and awkward during the silent moments because you weren't expecting to feel like that due to the false intimacy you've created.

Being into the same things in bed doesn't necessarily mean that you'll actually have sexual chemistry with each other!

Exactly. You're really not being realistic or sensible at all.

I didn’t started this discussion to discuss the sex part. I don’t care about sexual chemistry - my idea of good sex are not typical (I don’t need sexual chemistry) so no point explaining....

Is there some sort of language barrier? I notice you write in broken English. That would affect your communication perhaps.

If not it could be nerves or shyness.

It’s definitely bit of shyness on my part. The 3 months of isolation made me feel quiet antisocial and boring (nothing happening in my life at the moment). English is not my first language, but I have no problem talking (it’s usually the grammar during writing
I struggle with a little bit)

If you don’t care about sexual chemistry, why is it the first thing you mention in your opening post?

OP it’s probably a good sign that you’re a bit shy rather than bored - maybe just give it a second chance? Would be a pity to miss out just because things are awkward the first time you meet.

I find it quite rude to say the OP writes in ‘broken’ English when it’s really good and perfectly comprehensible, and is obviously not the reason for the silences.

talking for so long can create false intimacy I agree that's the problem. You probably had built up unrealistic expectations of your first meeting.

Try to move the relationship into real life by meeting up again. It's difficult with the current restrictions I expect. That's one bonus of social distancing I suppose- if you are meeting up it has to be a distanced "getting to know each other" rather than a hook up for sex.

Do you drink alcohol? Perhaps it would help to meet for a couple of drinks just to loosen you both up a bit? (If nerves are the problem).

Bear in mind that some men online will just tell you what you want to hear just to get in your knickers. Agreeing you have the same goals in life, flattering you etc. He may have been disappointed that when you met up and it was clear sex wasn't on the cards? Sorry to be brutal

I wasn't meaning to be rude when I mentioned "broken English". That was a clumsy turn of phrase. It's just that some subtle nuances or sense of humour in spoken English can get lost in translation.
I'm sorry if I caused offence.

How long were the silent moments, I think everyone has a few moments of silence here and there