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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH and I bringing each other down...

1 reply

Babs709 · 05/07/2020 13:30

Does anyone have any practical advice?

DH and I keep bringing each other down into our misery. He has lost his job and is desperately hunting. He’ll get himself upset about it and then I end up upset too... And then the next day I start worrying about it and drag him down too. Once upon a time one of us would stay strong and say some reassuring words to the other. Lockdown has also encouraged us to take on some projects in the house and that will wind one of us up, and we’ll then drag the other one into it. I feel like the answer should be “it doesn’t matter, it’s only a bit of paint on the walls” but we both seem to have lost the ability to do that.

It’s a bit “misery loves company” and I miss the supportive relationship we generally have.

Where are we going wrong?

OP posts:
DaisyRaisin · 05/07/2020 13:48

I think it sounds very stressful. And you're trying to compound the stress with DIY , which theoretically sounds good but actually it's not. You need to compound it with either positive stress i.e. exercise or relaxation. Something that make you forget your worries for a while. I think "jobseeking" should be limited to say between 10 and 1pm every day, once it's over then lunch then you do housework/DIY between 2pm and 4pm. Cook dinner together, plan fun things to do together, what do you like to do?

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