Secret Facebook messenger chat - help? Photos attached

[Tryingtobeadetective]

My marriage is at the end, there’s no trust and it doesn’t feel like there is any love to be honest.

I looked on his Facebook messages for a certain person and up came 2 options. A chat opened that he had with her a few years ago (innocent) and a chat with a lock on it which is a secret chat.

I have screenshotted it all. I don’t understand what it means by removing devices etc?

If anyone could help that would be great.

It’s also his ex from 20 years ago, and she’s absolutely beautiful 😟

I’m late twenties and he is late thirties, and there has been things happen in the past which is why I have trust issues with him.

What does it say about removing devices? Is it when you click on the secret chat?

Oh sorry I didn't see the other pictures!

So if you've gone onto his secret chat on your phone he can now see what phones can access the chat I think? Like when you have an iPhone and you go on setting it says where you are logged on from and gives you times and places? I'm guessing it's the same as that?

Can you see what the secret chat says?

He's obviously hiding something, why would he make a secret chat I think if it was innocent it wouldn't need to be made secret.

Tbh, I wouldn't even ask him about it until you know what the conversation says.

I have no idea about this! I wouldn't worry about it now as it's over, just leave and let him go to do his chatting if it makes him happy

I can’t see what the secret chat says at all, only shows what devices has been removed etc.

I should have said that photos are ones I’ve taken on my phone from his ipad.

Wasn’t sure if the screenshot showing their secret conversation would show who started the chat in the first place?

I've just started a secret conversation with someone to see if I can help and get an insight for you.

Ok so, when you start a secret conversation, you can set a timer on any message you send for when you want it to delete, anything up to one minute. So that may be why you can't see any messages.

Thanks @mel263 that’s really nice of you.

That must be why I can’t see anything. Pretty annoying.

I’m going to try and get onto his phone at some point today to see if anything is on his messenger on there.

I know it might sound odd since my marriage is basically over but my husband is very manipulative. I told him a year ago if there was 1 more thing done then we would be finished, and me finding this thing will make it 100% done.

Does it mean that he has unlinked other devices (such as a tablet) that might have been linked to his phone/Facebook? Sometimes all of the messages that come through on a phone can be accessed using another device if it's all been linked together. I know a few people who have been caught out that way.

@Patbutcherismyhero the secret message I’ve found is on his iPad. He literally has his phone stuck to him so will be impossible to get on that, but I’m going to try my hardest to see if that shows anything else.

I’ve just had another look back and understand it abit better now.

The chat has been made (by him or her I’m not sure), and he has added his phone to the conversation so he can chat from there, and then a device has been removed so that’s probably his iPad so he’s using his phone now.

I totally feel for you, I have been here myself. I don't believe for one second it's innocent sorry. It looks like he's made his choice, he's an idiot.

God, sounds like he's being a slimey fucker.

I'd try and get on his phone too, wait until he's sleeping. As a PP has mentioned though, you can set the messages on a timer to be deleted, so you may not find anything.

I think that in itself is suspicious, if he has nothing to hide, why would he not tell you, and why would it be on a secret chat?

Will hopefully get on his phone at some point today. He would have no reason to make anything secret unless it’s sexual, or speaking about me.

She also shows as online on his messenger but they aren’t friends on Facebook, would this be because they speak on the secret chat?

I agree, op.
They probably haven't got each other as friends on fb so you don't suspect anything, or even know they're in contact.

You poor thing. Any secret chat is never a good thing. I really hope it's nothing.

I never normally advise to go on your DP's phone but this time I would say go on it.
You told him if he did one more thing, you would leave. So get the evidence and show it to him.

I’ve just managed to check his phone and it’s not there. There’s an option where you can delete the conversation so he’s obviously done it on his phone but not his iPad. Will just have to keep an eye on it.

Bumping incase anyone else knows any more about secret conversations on messenger

It’s going to be impossible for you to access this. That’s why it’s secret. It’s secret because he’s hiding something. Why do you need to know what it is? You know you’re done. He’s making secret messages. Tell him he’s a vile liar and to F off. No need to keep tying yourself in knots!!

Do you really need to see these messages?

You know exactly what they are, it’s not a friendly innocent chat.

I’d be fucking him off now, you don’t need to drive yourself crazy trying to find out because you already know. Skip all the mess, back his bag and tell him to swivel