Would you say this is a good enough reason to miss contact?

[Ggrey180]

Exp is supposed to be gradually increasing contact with dd after a 4 month absence. He had stopped video calls after a month and was meant to have dd for two hours as per a court order but didn't because it was raining.. he doesn't live locally but could have taken dd into town. I offered to let him have another day to make it up he declined so I said he needs to do those two hours before time increases as it isn't fair on dd who barely knows him.

Am I being unreasonable ?

You're right I shouldn't have offered alternative dates, he missed that date regardless of if was raining so the increase gets pushed back accordingly. But I knew this would be the outcome if I didn't offer, I guess it makes no difference as whatever I do or suggest he'll always make an issue out of it

Think tomorrow im just going to ask my solicitor to email the judge to get a clause added and to confirm the gradual increase

Is there anything in the contact order about what happens if he doesn't stick to the agreement?

@LannieDuck no there isn't. Just that it's x contact sessions at x hours on x dates and gradually increases over a period of months.

That why I'm thinking of getting my solicitor to write to the judge in order to get something put in.

Shame. It seems like such an obvious thing that needs to be clearly stated in these agreements.

'Here's what each party needs to do... and here are the consequences of not doing it...'

Well exactly, would make my life a lot simpler. Even tried encouraging him to do video calls so that at least dd isn't so distressed when seeing him, but he isn't playing attention just ignores it so I'm done trying with that.

You should of offered alternative and that fact you did is good, remember this is to have proof for court and for your dc best interest.

If he was to take you back to court for breaching the order which you haven't he has. They would order that he continues from where he left off. So the two hours etc.

He can't jump ahead.
Also they would want to know why he stopped the video calls.
My exdp went through the same, but it was the Ex who stopped contact because she wasn't happy with the outcome of the final order ( to be honest I understand why - she was feed a lot of crap from her solicitor)

When they attended for the breach contact resumes from the moment it stopped even though there was a month gap, which I thought should actually mean that he had an extra one on one session to help the dc.

Ignore your ex's shit and solicitor. He's angry and the solicitor is just following Instructions.

Even if you were in the wrong which your not you would just at get a warning.

Screenshot everything with his number showing never a name you put in. Then screenshot the screenshot which the time and date it was taken. iPhones show that.
Good luck

@GroovyGrove thank you, I do worry if he takes me back not because if done anything wrong but because of the stress. Last 3 hearings I've had to do with dd present as lockdown and no childcare.

But one thing is for sure I refuse to let him continue to control and abuse me and I'll do anything possible to ensure dd is kept safe.