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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Err is it normal for your lidido to rocket after leaving a horrendous relationship?

16 replies

BPSCSS · 04/07/2020 16:10

So exH was abusive, marriage ended violently. I have civil injunctions in place and he recently pleaded guilty to assault. All I feel most of the time is relief and a huge desire for casual sex. Not something I can really ask anyone, but is that normal?

OP posts:
dazzlinghaze · 04/07/2020 16:12

My relationship wasn't as bad as yours but it was very unhappy and I felt the same when it ended! I put it down to suddenly realising I had possibilities again.

hamstersarse · 04/07/2020 16:13

Completely normal.

BPSCSS · 04/07/2020 16:16

Phew!

OP posts:
DaisyRaisin · 04/07/2020 16:33

I don't know any psychology behind it but I'd say it sounds like a normal reaction. Even a healthy one. It would give you an opportunity to meet you own needs for once, feel free to experience new things, claim back ownership of "you". Just take care of yourself through it all.

I am so happy you are out of that awful relationship and that is wonderful but take care of yourself. You are likely to be vulnerable in ways you haven't even realised yet. I hope that's not overstepping.

BPSCSS · 04/07/2020 16:41

No it's not overstepping, I am staying well away from relationships casual or otherwise as I am still vulnerable.

OP posts:
Busybee2912 · 04/07/2020 16:46

Yes!

Have fun Wink

GroovyGrove · 04/07/2020 16:53

I was the same, but didn't acted because I didn't want more drama from another.

But yes! I was a beast 🤦🏽‍♀️

ThePathToHealing · 04/07/2020 18:40

It happened to me too, I met my current partner three months after I left my ex and we would have sex 4 times a day at my instigation Blush, we've been together 9 years now so things worked out well in the end!

TigerDater · 04/07/2020 18:45

Yup

SoulofanAggron · 04/07/2020 19:19

I imagine it is sometimes- it could be that your ex had put you off sex and without him you feel like your old self again.

It could also be a bit of a 'high' now some of the stress is over.

BertieBotts · 04/07/2020 19:20

Normal. But good instinct not to indulge! Get some good sex toys :o

BPSCSS · 04/07/2020 19:56

Lots of good advice, especially about sex toys!

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 04/07/2020 20:06

I burned out the motors on two vibrators in the 4 months after leaving!!

burdog · 04/07/2020 20:42

Maybe it's the libido you've had all along?

VistaOfFreedom · 05/07/2020 17:08

I found the same, so it's very interesting to hear its a thing! Grin

Greenforestt · 05/07/2020 23:35

I'm going through the same thing too after having left an abusive marriage a few months ago. It's almost a year since the last time I had sex too. I wasn't sure how 'normal' my feelings were either.

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