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How do I convince my husband to stop using something that's doing him harm?

21 replies

lolligoth · 04/07/2020 12:16

I'm looking for advice about a medicine that my husband takes. It frequently causes tension between us and it's got worse over the last few months during lockdown. We've been married for 9 months.

He is north of 20 stone, has sleep apnoea and high blood pressure. He takes various medications and uses a CPAP machine. He talks about sometimes not being able to catch his breath, and uses Otrivine Allergy Relief (the yellow one) to supposedly get his breath back. He uses this spray several times a day, every single day, and has done for years.

The leaflet clearly says "one spray in each nostril, one to three times daily", and "do not use for more than 7 consecutive days". Am I being unreasonable to question his use of this spray? His breathing isn't what I would call normal, he quite often makes a noise that sounds like he's trying to breathe through his nose and mouth at the same time - I find it incredibly irritating to listen to.

I am almost positive that excess use of this spray is doing him more harm than good. In fact, early on in lockdown he wasn't using it as much and he actually lost weight. That was the only time he reduced his usage of it. Since he started using it more, he's put the weight back on. He eats healthy food, mostly fresh meat and vegetables (admittedly a massive amount), but he doesn't lose weight.

He won't listen to me when I voice my concerns about the spray. I've tried offering alternative solutions, like a salt spray, but he's not interested. And he won't talk to his doctor because he knows he'd be told to stop using the spray.

It's much more irritating now probably because of lockdown and I hear the snorts and sniffs upwards of 18 hours a day. But surely there's something better he could be doing?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 04/07/2020 12:22

Its probably rebound congestion he is getting. I used to be the same and used it all the time. Its hard weaning off it as you get a stage where you can't breathe through your nose at all. I now use sprays sparingly when I have the cold and my nose is nlicked

emma6776 · 04/07/2020 12:23

I think you should probably get this moved. You’ve posted in Style and Beauty x

lolligoth · 04/07/2020 12:46

@emma6776

I think you should probably get this moved. You’ve posted in Style and Beauty x
No, I posted in Relationships. Somehow it moved itself...
OP posts:
dementedpixie · 04/07/2020 12:55

Report your thread and they will move it for you

peachgreen · 04/07/2020 12:56

Rebound conjestion is pretty awful. He may need medical help to stop. Either way suggest doing on nostril at a time so he can always breathe.

lolligoth · 04/07/2020 13:08

@peachgreen

Rebound conjestion is pretty awful. He may need medical help to stop. Either way suggest doing on nostril at a time so he can always breathe.
He doesn't even do it right either, he squirts it straight up instead of directly into his nasal passages, and also without closing the other nostril. If nothing else it's a waste of spray!
OP posts:
lolligoth · 04/07/2020 13:08

@dementedpixie

Report your thread and they will move it for you
I'm new to Mumsnet, I don't know how to do that.
OP posts:
dementedpixie · 04/07/2020 13:10

Has he tried using an actual spray for allergies (the one he is using is a decongestant spray). My dh takes an antihistamine and a corticosteroid spray all year round for his congestion issues

Waitingforboristoletusfree · 04/07/2020 13:11

Rebound congestion is GRIM! he’ll need a steroid nasal spray to get off it.. weird a nasal spray to get off a nasal spray but it works

dementedpixie · 04/07/2020 13:13

@lolligoth I've reported it for you. I clicked on 3 wee dots at the bottom of your post and then you get the option of reporting it

TwentyViginti · 04/07/2020 13:15

OP, I've aked MN to move this thread to Relationships for you. For future reference, hit the report button at the top of your original post and ask in the box that appears.

DawnMumsnet · 04/07/2020 13:16

We're moving this thread over to our Relationships topic now.

ScrapThatThen · 04/07/2020 13:23

I think I have previously heard that overuse of these products can be a problem. Why don't you have a quiet word with a friendly pharmacist as a first step?

ScrapThatThen · 04/07/2020 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScrapThatThen · 04/07/2020 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TorkTorkBam · 04/07/2020 13:30

I think you are taking the wrong approach.

He has two serious conditions: obesity and breathing problems.

He has been trying to treat them himself but his attempts have been ineffective. The healthy diet and the sprays are not working.

It's not for you to pressure him into using or avoiding particular treatments.

What you can do is sympathetically point out that what he is trying is not working so what is he going to do about it as it affects you too? Do not offer solutions. At all. You are now an opinion free zone.

He has to get himself to the doctor to get solutions, or even read the internet himself, try things and find the things that work for him. You trying to solve point issues won't win the war.

UncleShady · 04/07/2020 13:31

Otrivine addiction is awful because the more you use it the more you need to. I went onto the children's version as its half the strength, and counted drops and strung it out. You can get Beconase and Flixonase in the supermarket now, which are steroid nose sprays. You don't get the instant clearing but regular use will make a difference- even if he has a nose full of polyps and/or hayfever.

But obviously - he has to want to do it. The GP might have a better plan and some better prescription nose sprays, but again he needs to see it's an issue.

HopeClearwater · 04/07/2020 13:59

It sounds as if his use of Otrivine is only a small part of his health problems. He could stop that and he’ll still be obese, need a CPAP and have high blood pressure. He needs to focus on those as well.

Thatnameistaken · 04/07/2020 14:01

His weight will be exacerbating his breathing problems. Meds aside, losing 8 stone will probably make a big difference.

DianaT1969 · 04/07/2020 17:01

Someone posted in a FB group I'm in that she was always hungry when she took anti-histamine. When she stopped she could lose weight. Others commented that they had noticed similar.
Can I suggest that you join a group on FB called Delay Don't Deny run by the intermittent fasting author Gin Stevens. When you scroll through the before and after photos and stories it is very inspiring. There are a lot of men on there and it might help your husband believe that he can lose the weight. People lose hope when they have tried without results. Her latest book is Feast Fast Repeat on Amazon, if your husband would read it. If not, perhaps you could and do the steps and involve your DH without realising he's on a health-kick.

lolligoth · 04/07/2020 17:15

@DianaT1969 Thanks very much for that advice, I'll look into that. He's always hungry and it drives me insane. We finish dinner and before the dishes are done he says he's hungry again. He eats too much to start with, I can't afford to feed him any more. Confused

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