Overheard DP taking the piss out of me to our mate, time to LTB?

[Summer2003]

Earlier this week we had a mutual mate round for coffee in garden. I was making drinks & overheard DP taking the piss saying how I was being a "dudley do right" because I had been cleaning all morning. (global pandemics have that effect)
I was hurt as he'd already called that twice the day before but brushed it off, then later the conversation turned to a niggle our mate had had with his girlfriend, it was a kind anecdote type thing & my DP launched into a rant under the guise of being funny, about how "it's not like women to be unreasonable?!" With a smirk in his face, to the point where our mate changed the subject.
This may seem a little petty but comes after several years of similar behaviour. Taking the piss out of my many interests, friends etc. All in a Very subtle way, so if I call him out on it he Always says I'm overreacting/too sensitive.
Joke is he has like 1 friend, NO interests & makes ZERO effort with his family - who are all great people.
I've often thought he was depressed as he rarely leaves his house other than for work or to come to mine. Don't know why I've stayed so long & he's always telling me I'm lucky he's not the jealous type, but gets weird if I talk to male friends, but again in a joking subtle way.
Also he gives expensive gifts for birthdays, but then tells me how well he did with the gift so I have to say Yes, you did really well!
These are just a few examples, I've been here (MN) before with same dilemma.
We live apart thank God & lockdown was a blessing but we've been back together for a week & I've seen things more clearly.

I know I have to LTB just getting it off my chest looking for support.

[CakeandCoffeeQueen]

Please don’t waste anymore of your life on him.

[Evelefteden]

Honestly leave before he ruins your self worth. My fil is exactly the same with mil which I’m convinced turned her in to the sour bitter angry women women she is today.

Yeah to the ‘it’s a joke’ ‘your too sensitive’..

It sucks the joy out of your life. My exh started doing this about 12 months ago to me. So I left. His father has tried to do it to me the entire time I’d been with ex. It’s Insidious nasty misogynistic bullshit.

My ex doesn’t do it to me anymore because I just used to fire back ‘is this the point where we’re all supposed to laugh’ or ‘go on I’m still waiting for the fucking punch line’ Or one that really pisses him off ‘ok fil’...

[OldWomanSaysThis]

What's the work situation like that makes it difficult to leave?

[sobothered]

There really is no point in being with somebody like this. Somebody who has no real interest in making you feel good about yourself

[SoulofanAggron]

I think it depends on the manner it was said in really. My DH and one of his friends have a slightly rude name for me ‘behind my back’, but it doesn’t bother me at all because it’s all in jest

@ChickenDrumstick I think with OP's partner it's more like the kind of arsiness where abusive men always claim they're 'just joking' to try and get away with it.

[isthismylifenow]

Oh the you are overreacting / too sensitive / can't take a joke line.

The present giving bow down ceremony

I'm guessing there is more you haven't mentioned.

It's draining stuff OP.

I think this has run its course now.

[Summer2003]

@bumblebee69
@Evelefteden
@squeakyjoint

What a difference a week makes! Since posting I've finished with him, for good. Nothing dramatic just told him we're on different journeys personally. In return I was told "you've lost your sense of humour & are really uptight these days" - maybe I find toxic sexist put downs at my expense draining! Byeeeeee!!!
Never felt better!
Anyone else in the same boat, please do yourself a favour & check out Florence Given's Instagram account & book, for some seriously strong helpful advice 💪🏼😁👍

[ChristianGreysAnatomy]

Hooray!
I was going to suggest you tell him to “(dudley) do one” but I see I’m too late.

Onwards and upwards, OP.

[Treacletoots]

Yaaass!! Well done and thank fuck you got rid of this one OP. Now go and enjoy yourself.

P.s. sounds like my exH. I think 10 years on he's still living with his mum because noone else will have him

[OneFootintheRave]

Well done @Summer! X

[KetoWinnie]

[quote Summer2003]@bumblebee69
@Evelefteden
@squeakyjoint

What a difference a week makes! Since posting I've finished with him, for good. Nothing dramatic just told him we're on different journeys personally. In return I was told "you've lost your sense of humour & are really uptight these days" - maybe I find toxic sexist put downs at my expense draining! Byeeeeee!!!
Never felt better!
Anyone else in the same boat, please do yourself a favour & check out Florence Given's Instagram account & book, for some seriously strong helpful advice 💪🏼😁👍[/quote]
Well done!

[Fatted]

Glad to see the update OP. You're better off rid of him. He's the sort of person who has to make himself look better by putting everyone else down because they have nothing positive to say about themselves.

[hampstead1234]

Well done- if you wish to be in another relationship soon I hope you find one.

[TwentyViginti]

Awww shame.......

......that you didn't say "Dudley do one"

[Summer2003]

@hampstead1234

No wishes on that front! Far more powerful single & glowing in my own glory!

@fatted
Cheers! Your spot on with your observation, it's draining trying to fix someone elses shitty attitude! No more manchild BS.
@treacletoots
😂 They do it too themselves! No more settling for crumbs, I'm off to bake myself the whole cake that I deserve!

[SoulofanAggron]

Yay, well done! xxx