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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling hopeless

3 replies

MoominMama99 · 03/07/2020 23:19

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Feeling hopeless4

Today 21:41geekone

Might be best to get this moved to relationships OP

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Today 14:39peeperpig

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like an abusive relationship, no wonder you are feeling down. Do you have any friends or family that you can confide in or that will help you? Agree, please speak to Women's Aid.

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Today 11:46geekone

Wtf? OP please get out of there over everything else your OH sexually assaulted you this morning. Please leave, speak to woman’s aid. For the sake of you and your kids. So sorry you are going through this.

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Today 11:41MoominMama99

Hi, I hope this is ok to write.. It's hard for me to write about myself, I dont like to drawn attention to myself but I have some feelings I'm not sure how to deal with and I have no one I can talk to. I'm sorry if this is not the place but I just wanted to get another perspective.
So myself like many others I'm sure, find myself unemployed now due to covid19. I was due to start a new job just before lockdown which I was really looking forward to as I was made redundant from my previous job and it took a while for me to find another that fit with my family (oh, 3 kids)
So now I am unemployed again. It's a bit of a long story but I cant ask my husband for money.. he always overreacts when I ask. Not sure why this is, we dont have as many outgoings as others, he is a heating engineer so a good wage.
Anyway so now I have no money and 3 kids at home, feeling pretty worthless. I dont think my husband appreciates how hard it is looking after the kids (3,7,14) and never get mothers day cards (he doent believe in it) I'm used to that but just lately I've been really down with everything, it's all got a bit much, I'm not sleeping, headaches constantly, no sex drive etc.
I stayed up last night til around 2am just crying while everyone else was in bed, then this morning I wake up to my husband touching me and masturbating and now I feel so used and worthless.

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 04/07/2020 10:19

You are not worthless, but your husband is an asshole of the highest order. He's financially abusive and a sex pest (at the least). You feel shit because you're in a shit situation and he's treating you like shit!! He's a huge big adshole of a SHIT!

I think making plans for a future without him will relieve your feelings of worthlessness.

namechange12a · 04/07/2020 17:28

OP you're in an abusive relationship. You shouldn't have to ask your husband for money. You're married and you're parenting his children, he should pay towards all of your costs.

He is sexually abusing you by touching you without your consent and masturbating. He's financially and sexually abusive and no doubt, abusive in other ways too.

Can you contact the National Abuse Helpline, it's 24 hours: 0808 2000 247

They're quite difficult to get through to so if you can't then see what's available locally, which you can find here.

GhostOfMe · 04/07/2020 21:15

You're not worthless. Your husbands abuse will be a big part of why you feel that way.

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