Pregnancy stress partner is not helping

[CharisA]

I am 18 weeks pregnant, I have type one diabetes ive been struggling a lot mentally and physically through this pregnancy. Im very worn out most the time and my morning sickness came back in the last few weeks, my hormones are very hard to control.
For me, in the evening so about 7 pm onwards I want to relax and unwind and try let go of all of the day, my partner doesn't seem to understand how important it is for me to unwind in the evening. The short story is he has a very old dog and I'm worn out and stressed not to mention I'm having a lot of anxiety, his dog does not settle it's constantly marching around she can't sit still at all, she moans a lot and she wees around the kitchen shes not easy to deal with in general let alone now I'm pregnant and needs to stay calm. I'm really keeping it very simple because it would take a long time to explain the issues. My partner doesn't even give me time without her for me to unwind.... When she won't settle and she starts weeing or moaning I have to go to bed because he won't do anything to give me space from her. It's a bit much and I can't talk to him about it because he is incredibly overprotective of her and even when I talk calmly to him about me need some space to relax he gets very angry and defensive. I just am so worn out I just want to cry I want to be able to relax in my own home and I can't it's really a bit much

God you are being very precious op, more important things to stress about really isn't there?

Jeez @WhitbyGoth, that’s bloody harsh! Poor op is pregnant, has immunity issues and has a lazy git for a partner who won’t sort HIS incontinent dog so op is constantly having to clean up after it. It could well be a very big deal - if he can’t be assed to clean up after his dog I bet he doesn’t take it to the vet to get checked re the incontinence or to get worm treatment. Toxicara canIs is not something op wants. This is not being precious, this is ops home,(yours or his exactly?) with an unhelpful and selfish partner who is putting himself and his dog above his pregnant partner. He needs a talking too, and I hope the dog has been wormed. If nothing improves I’d reconsider your living arrangements/relationship tbh!

So basically he cba. I agree with PPs he's defensive because you're drawing attention to the fact that he's lazy. You need to step back, and he needs to step up because if he cba to look after his dog properly you can bet he'll be the same when baby arrives (and if he doesn't I'd have serious thoughts about continuing living with him) Poor you and poor dog.

@goody2shooz he does take her to the vets and worms her etc but because she is old the vet often can't really help other than say shes old and already on a lot of meds.... Its not easy I know that it is very hard to lose an animal and he knows that time will come soon and I think he kinda avoids noticing the additional things because he doesn't want to deal with it yet... Not healthy I know. She is old but every time I offer an idea he just gets defensive and often ends in an argument. He's good he cares for her but he just doesn't pick up on her signs like a women does. I am doing what I can to keep it clean her and keep the dog comfortable... Her weeing and sitting in it won't do her good so I just let her out when shes being overly fidgety and she always goes for a wee. Its not the end of the world but it is hard work and it does cause friction in our relationship and I do need a day off

Christ op - I can't believe that you, pregnant, diabetic and feeling exhausted - have to sort out his incontinent dog! He needs to get off his bloody arse, and quickly.

And stop making excuses for him - his behaviour isn't acceptable.

@arrivederla your right.... I am making excuses for him about the dog... He's great with everything else but the dog seems to hit a nerve and he's not always on the ball with her and I can't keep doing it. I need to try and talk to him and hope that he takes it onboard.

No you don't.
You've already tried talking to him, he does the classic useless man thing and gets defensive.
JUST STOP RUNNING AROUND AFTER THE DOG.
He'll soon get the point.

I don't know if this is a ridiculous suggestion or not, but could you put a specially made nappy on your dog? Perhaps just for the evenings before bed. That way you don't need to focus so much on what the dog is doing for a few hours. You can get cloth nappies for dogs and cats with continence issues. Another idea would be if you notice the dog has had an accident, tell your partner to clean it up every time, don't do it all yourself. Your partner isn't noticing because he doesn't have to, he knows you will step in every time. Can you try to get the dog to settle in the living room with you? Have a bed set up for her to use, perhaps right next to where you are sitting. Then she will be with you and more relaxed.