Ex partner

[MotherofanangelAlfiesmum2018]

Hi everyone just need some advice me and my ex partner lost our 6 day old son Alfie and it’s his 2nd birthday approaching on the 11th July, me and my ex have split due to pressure of the pandemic and things not being quite right with us after loosing him it’s been a massive strain.. so we have been split for a month now and was just wondering should I say something to him on the day of what would of been our sons second birthday or not ? I don’t want to appear cold but I also don’t want him to think I’m trying to get him back so what do I do ? Any advice would be helpful Thankyou x

I don't have any advice as such but I didn't want to read and run. I don't think there is a right or wrong in this situation, just what you feel is best. I am so sorry for the loss of Alfie and I'm sending you my thoughts and best wishes.

I would contact him.

I would text and say something like

"I know things are tough between us just now, but I couldnt let Alfies day pass without acknowledging our baby. Hope the day is as gentle in you as it can possibly be"

So sorry that you have to miss your Alfie. It's a pain like no other

It really depends how your feeling and how this man treated you in your relationship. I’m really sorry for your loss Mother

Oh, you poor thing. So sorry for your loss.
Difficult's suggestion seems good.

Do you want to get back with him?

I am so so sorry for your loss. I think if you are in a place where you can send a message to your ex, then you should. The two of you are bonded with this tragedy and I think you would regret not sending a message to him. Focus the message purely about your son, I would expect that he won't be surprised by the contact.

You could maybe give him till late afternoon before messaging, as he may message you first and this will stop you worrying about giving him false hope?

I wish you the best and I'm so sorry that this happened .

Thankyou so much for everyone’s lovely and helpful replies :) I will go with waiting till dinner time to see if he messages and if not I will message and say what @DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult said because it’s perfect :) my heads been such a mess I didn’t know how to acknowledge it or if to but this has helped me so much Thankyou again xx

And yes it is a pain like no other 2 years into the grief and it still feels like it happened yesterday I miss him so much :( xx

Oh OP I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t have any advice really but wanted to send you my best wishes

MotherofanangelAlfiesmum2018 I'm 21 years into being a bereaved parent now, in some ways it feels like yesterday, and others it has been like a lifetime. You find your way of coping, and somehow manage to function again. You're still very early days at the moment. I hope you manage to find your way to remember your Alfie, and that the day passes as peacefully for you as it possibly can.

I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you are getting through this day however you need to 💐