I met my partner over three years ago. About 18 months into our relationship, he proposed. I must admit, it caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting it.
Early last year, I realized our sex life had dwindled into very, very little. I think he might have a death grip. He was able to get erections and maintain them for his hand only. Never for sex with me. We would start usually by me giving him a BJ and that would get him hard. We might have some sex but there was never a finishing with us. After a few thrusts with me on top, he would guide me away and take over with his hand. We had sex 2 or 3 times last year.
We don't live together. The lockdown was the best thing ever for me. He used to come over and stay the night about 2 times a week. He stopped coming over and we stopped sleeping together because of the lockdown.
It was the best thing ever for me. I started making more time for me. I started making time for exercise to lose weight. I'm now down 2 stone since the start of lockdown and I feel fantastic. I love having some free extra time to myself. I remember before, he used to come around on a Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday night. I would get up early in the morning for work. I would have a variable finish time. It could be 7 or 8 or 9 at night. He would then come around. I never even got 5 minutes to myself. The lockdown has brought about time for me.
I started sleeping better. I started going to bed on time. I started to rise early for about 5.30 am or 6 am to get a home workout done before cooking breakfast and before starting a day's work. I never had that time before.
Anyways, there I was working out this morning in my sitting room. I was having fun working out, listening to the phone music with earphones and my phone starts ringing. It was him. I decided not to answer because I was in the middle of a work out. I decided to finish my workout and start cooking breakfast before I would phone him back. In that time I got 3 calls from him that I didn't answer. What was that all about? I eventually rang him back and it was 8 am so it wasn't long after his first call and he had no news or nothing much to tell me. You would swear with the calls there was someone on their deathbed or something but no. He was phoning to say hello.
He knows the drill now. He knows my routine where so like to get up early and start a workout.
What was he doing phoning me, not once, not twice but three times. There were other times he can be obsessive with calling me too. For example, he knows I have variable finishing times with work and he can phone me from about 7pm and keep doing it until I pick up. There are sometimes when I don't have that time to answer his call.
He's the most nicest kindest man ever and he's so considerate but he's giving me an absolute headache with his calls. Our sex life is nothing. The pandemic has showed me, I want to be single. I want to be free. I would get more excitement taking a book to bed.
Any advice on how to approach this with my partner and for dumping him? Or will I go about it in a backwards way by becoming less and less available for him until our relationship is down to nothing. Do it slowly over a few weeks. Then wait for some sort of a blow up fight or argument and then bang, finish up.