Is this an emotional affair?

[ethal80]

I got chatting to a guy during play on an online game. We got on really well, spoke about day to day stuff, had the banter and then came along the flirting. It all happened so quickly (2-3weeks) and before we knew it we were sexting and being very intimate towards one another. Both happily married with DC. Live about 3 hours apart so no physical contact. We have both admitted that we are consumed by this and feelings are becoming apparent. How is this possible when we've never even met? Part of me wants the chase and attention and another part knows how wrong this is. Does this mean there's something missing in our actual RL relationships? It's never happened before. I'm so confused by all of this as it's so out of character. I will provide more info if needed and I'll be honest to any questions. I've really let myself down here and my DH haven't I?

I've really let myself down here and my DH haven't I?

Yes, you have, and you're behaving like a silly school girl. Any emotions you think you feel for this man are pure fantasy. You don't even know him. Block him and give your head a massive wobble before you ruin your marriage.

Absolutely you have.

Are you going to tell your husband or try and fix your marriage.

Feel sorry for the mans partner also. And all children involved. Was it worth it?

I totally get escapism. No, it does not excuse an affair. How do you have so much time to have an affair online?

Yeah you know it's very clearly an emotional affair. Would you meet him if he asked?

Do you think there is something missing with your DH?

I think you need to put yourself in your husbands shoes and see how you would feel if it was the other way around? I know I would feel incredibly hurt.

Just stop it.

If you aren't happy in your marriage then leave (independently of the other guy) before you get into anything else.

Play fair. xxx

Indeed you have OP.
But... it happens.
You've recognised it now so stop it!
It's the thrill, the fantasy. It's not real though and you know that.
Have a considered conversation with this guy and tell him that you value him as a friend but the flirty and sexting absolutely has to stop as of right now!

Thankyou all for the reality check. Yes I am behaving like a school girl. Yes I would be hurt if this happened to me. Yes I also feel for his wife. I wasn't aware that there were any flaws in our marriage but there clearly are a few for me to behave in such a way. I certainly am going to give my head a wobble. Suppose I just got carried away in the moment and enjoyed the attention. I'll get over it eventually. Has anyone else been through this or similar? Thanks for the comments, it's what I needed to hear.

Do you even know what this man looks like or sounds like irl? Could he be the opposite of what you find attractive with a grating voice, but you are projecting an ideal because it's all online?

Even if you have seen or heard him - that's not a real connection. A real connection is someone who knows you, who loves you when you are greasy-haired at four in the morning with vomit on your dressing gown while you rock a screaming baby. Not saying that's what you should aim for, just saying anything and anyone can seem shiny and attractive when there's no real life responsibility and stress in the mix. Would they be that appealing once there is?

It's an escape. What you've learned is you want a break, an escape - who doesn't after lockdown?