When does the good bit start?

[GoodGodLiz]

Just divorced and entering the dating world again.

Last time I did this I was still reading monthly magazines with their helpful tips on relationships. Apparently now I'm old enough to know better.

But what's the deal? I've been seeing someone for a month (talk most days. See each other at the weekends) he's just described it as a friendship/relationship/whatever. It was a serious chat but this kind of stuck out. Is it too early to call it a relationship?! I don't want to push him but god I don't want to arse about with someone who doesn't see a future.

And when do we Facebook friends and follow on Instagram and twitter etc? I have literally never had this issue before.

Apologies for all the questions. Maybe I need to get me a relationship book to brush up!

It's not a relationship. You have met him
4 times?
Have you been single long?
Lots of women get into a relationship quickly once separated, but you do seem to be putting a huge amount of pressure on yourself to do so VERY QUICKLY. Can you not just enjoy dating and reestablishing yourself a bit without worrying about whether they are the One?

Omg you're insane. Go to the cattery or kennels and choose the cutest four legged friend. Forget men and relationships! It's soooo much more enjoyable being single. Read a few of the threads on here and you'll see. Get the virus over and book yourself a singles holiday. Men are so not worth it!

Are you exclusive yet? Off dating apps?
I would see how it goes but if you don't feel more secure after a few weeks ask him, you have to know? quite rightly you don't want to waste time on a man who doesn't want the same.

I'd be fine with 'relationship/whatever' but would have felt the need to point out I don't snog/shag my friends!

OP, how can you know you want to be in a relationship with this man after a month? You are both still on best behaviour, and whilst this is the fab, fun, exciting part, of getting to know eachother, it's also a time to be doing your 'due diligence' and keeping your wits about you so you don't pass over any shady behaviour.

At the month point, I would only ask about exclusivity if we were having sex, otherwise, I'd ask before sex, as again, at this point, I'd personally expect exclusivity in a sexual relationship. But if we were just dating, I wouldn't be fussed.

I'm going to link you into the Baggage Reclaim website, and specifically a podcast/notes on the stages of relationships, and then also one on early dating. There is also a blog at the website, and I think this website will be your monthly magazine substitute!

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-123-the-5-stages-of-relationships/

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/podcast-ep-145-stage-0-1-of-relationships-the-recruiter-mindset/

Good luck!

1 month in, it really depends.
But I wouldn't want to call it a 'relationship' at that stage.

Facebook - immediately. I usually try to find out before I meet them.
You can learn a lot and I do as much research as possible before meeting anyone.

I also agree with @Thepolicedontcare - singledom is so much better and much more fun. The freedom is incredible.
But each to their own as well!