Is he on Tinder?

[shouldntknow]

I've name changed as DP knows my account.

I shouldn't have nosed around, but I did. I have been suffering with quite poor trust but we have both agreed this is something we want to work through.

I just had a look through his emails (yes, I know) & I saw that in his spam box, there was one opened email from tinder to verify an account. I only noticed because he has hundreds of emails in spam & all (that I saw) of them are unopened except this one. I didn't look any further.

WWYD?

When you sign up to tinder it asks for your email address and then you get an email asking you to verify your account. You dont have to use the app, you can just use the web browser.

OP have you tried to go on the browser version on the laptop on the off chance windows saved his password and logs you in automatically?

So, if he's deleted facebook he won't be on there

I don’t use tinder so might be saying something stupid but could it be that he created a new tinder account, linked it to his FB and then deleted FB (scared it shows on there he uses tinder?). Do you have to have an ongoing FB account to use T or just to create/verify the account?

You can have it without Facebook, you can link to Google account or phone number.

I went back into Tinder after just over 2 years of not using it. I had to create a new account and verify it by email. It’s likely that he has created an account recently.

Its definitely a new account creation. You dont need facebook just email and a phone number. You can also pause your profile while you are not actively using it so it could be difficult to catch him on it. If you can run a search on his phone for it, if hes hidden the app somewhere it will come up (most likely its on his phone). And do the same on the desktop, run a search. He probably deleted all browsing history though.

If you have access to his email why don’t you try to log in..

Type in his email address and click forgotten password and see if he gets an email come through .. if he does (quickly change the password and delete the email from his emails and deleted box) log on and have a look at the profile.

He doesn't have a phone at the moment. He uses a tablet & his computer. I know he had an old account (before we were together), I don't know if he deleted the actual account or just the app.

I would check his computer & tablet but I'm at work now and then with him at home until he works on Friday. I might be able to find a moment to look though - or even try to log in and see whether it appears active or not!

Just realised the date of the verification email is a day that I went to visit family (in garden) with DS

I wonder if he's recently realised he still had his account and needed to delete it but had forgotten his password? Sounds unlikely after so long though. You cant search or someone on tinder and its so easy to make up and account with a fake photo so he could still be on there but not using his own picture.

Don't say anything to him yet till you have some evidence (he will deny and make u fee shit for even suggesting something like this). You don't want him to have an excuse for everything. Make your own one, and catch him out. To be honest hun, just the fact that his got an activation email and opened and moved to junk would be enough for most women. Not saying his guilty, but not saying his not. Also as women we always have a gut feeling when something is off. Follow it see were it takes you. Are you prepared for what you would do, if your gut is right? Step back and re evaluate what if he is cheating what would I do then? Make sure u have an answer for this before you continue digging. If your willing to forgive him then don't look for something you might find and cause yourself that heart break. If your willing to leave him for cheating, then dig till your hearts content. You won't have to look for too long if he is men are sloppy, with these things.

can;t you set up a fake profile, find him and screenshot it?

The date doesn't sound good then OP ☹️

If you can see his email then sign in to Tinder with that email address on his computer or tablet and if the password isn't saved / auto-fills then send a reminder to the email address and access that way.

Hold tight though as he'll deny without evidence, as missrabbit23 says.

Not sounding good.

Maybe he set his location to his workplace. Or the nearest city (I usually do that) Hense why he isnt showing local.

Its quite unusual not to have a mobile phone these days and then also combined with him not having social media, maybe he has a secret phone that does have a secret social media account under fake name etc?

I guess it depends if you think that its worth investigating, ie has it already gone too far bad that you are checking his emails etc and maybe its too late to save the relationship/regain trust.

@Straycatblue

I don't think he does - he's been (sort of) depressed & quite socially inactive for months hence no social media. His phone broke and he didn't buy another.

Our relationship does feel damaged but not to the point of breaking up, I like to think we can strengthen as a couple. He's my first, serious relationship. I'd be heartbroken for us to break up - especially for our DS.

Ok, so I just had a look on his email and clicked the link to tinder. I couldn't log in to his acc so I sent a verification email to his inbox & opened it, it says 'no account found'. So my guess is that the original email was a security thing because he'd been inactive for so long, and it then prompted him to delete the account.

Now I feel like a fool I don't know whether to tell him or just forget about it.

well done OP.... forget about it.. and relax

p.s. delete evidence you've been searching

Oh yay ! A happy ending 🥰 I'm delighted it was a mix up
Maybe you and him need some time together on your own
A walk on the beach a munch outta the chipper and enjoy his company without ds just once in a while
Best of luck 🥰🤙😘